Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship


Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship

Imagine your relationship with no arguments. The one where you can hear each other and be heard in return. What would it be like to know how each of you feels?

The reason effective communication is important for a healthy long-distance relationship is because, without it, it’s easy to have misunderstandings. If you can’t sort out your issues effectively, they can quickly grow into bigger problems that can destroy your relationship.

How would you feel if you knew where your relationship is going?

Effective communication is a must in any relationship. In a long-distance relationship, your ability to express yourself and hear your partner is a key to make it work. With effective communication, you will be able to handle any problem you may face in a long-distance relationship. 

We’ve all heard how important effective communication is for a healthy relationship. But this term can be quite ambiguous. It can mean one thing to you and something else to your partner. For you to have effective communication in your long-distance relationship, both you and your partner need to agree on what it is. Once you are on the same page, you can make a plan to build a strong and healthy relationship.

In a long-distance relationship, emotional connection relies completely on how good is your communication. Are you ready to bring clarity to your relationship and make the most of your time together?


Healthy communication in a long-distance relationship

Effective communication is a cornerstone of any relationship. Communication has 2 parts: expressing yourself and hearing your partner. Effective communication is your ability to tell your partner what you like and what you don’t, but doing so in a way that they can hear exactly what you mean. Every couple that made their relationship work has great communication and understanding or a high level of tolerance. 

In a long-distance relationship, you maintain a connection through communication

If you want to create a healthy relationship and grow as a couple, you need to know how to communicate with each other. 

For a step by step guide to effective communication in a long-distance relationship, check out this article. People who know how to communicate with each other form relationships based on trust and understanding. That serves as a strong foundation for marriage and having children.

Couples in a long-distance relationship face a bit of a challenge when it comes to having healthy communication.

In a long-distance relationship, you don’t have the luxury to observe your partner’s body. Body language is responsible for much of our communication. So, you rely mostly on verbal and written communication. The clearer you express yourself through words, the easier it’s for your partner to understand what you mean.


Effective communication in long-distance relationship

You may feel that you do everything you can for your partner but are not getting anything in return. Your partner might even think the same. This sparks arguments because each person blames the other for not being understanding.

Instead of sharing love, couples waste precious time. Growing resentment can create many issues for your long-distance relationship and can weaken your emotional connection. Unfortunately, you can go on like this for years, unaware of it.

The only way to break this cycle of blame is to talk about it.

Sure, you talk all the time, but is your partner hearing you the way you intend it? How you talk is what makes the difference. A slight improvement in communication can bring you and your partner closer together.

How can you express yourself so that your partner understands what you mean?

Imagine your relationship with no arguments. The one where you can hear each other and be heard in return. What would it be like to know how each of you feels? How would you like to have a plan to know where your relationship is going?

Lack of clarity leads to assumptions, misunderstandings, and conflicts. This is one of the main reasons long-distance relationships fail. Sometimes we are afraid of getting clear because clarity means facing the truth.

To have effective communications means you and your partner understand each other while in a long-distance relationship.

We don’t always like what we see and we may ignore the issue altogether. This is ok for a holiday fling or a short-lasting relationship. But, if you are serious about making it work, clarity is a must.

What is effective communication in a long-distance relationship? 

Effective communication in a relationship is the skill of expressing yourself. And doing so in a way that your partner understands you. When you express yourself clearly, it’s easy for your partner to understand what you want. Once they know what you want, they can do what you ask.

How to communicate effectively in a long-distance relationship? To communicate effectively, you need 2 things: clarity and understanding. Open and honest communication is the foundation of your relationship. It allows you to share your feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. And this goes both ways. We will see how you can do it shortly.

To communicate effectively, you need 2 things: clarity and understanding.

Open and honest communication is the foundation of your relationship. It allows you to share your feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. This goes both ways. 


Importance of communication in long-distance relationship

Effective communication can help you find the source of your problems. Once you know the cause of the problem, you can find the solutions. When you are next to each other, you can sense if something changes.

Communication through electronic devices doesn’t give you this sense of knowing. Your mind becomes full of doubt and adds extra pressure to your relationship. Effective communication can reassure you that your relationship is going great.


Ways to communicate in a long-distance relationship

There are two ways you can communicate in a long-distance relationship. One way you can keep in touch is through online means like social media, text messages, phone calls, and video calls. Another way you can connect with communication is during your visits.

While it’s ok to keep in touch online, real communication happens when you meet and talk face to face. During your visits, you can see how you feel when you are together and what type of interaction you are having when you are next to each other.


Long-distance relationship communication frequency

In a long-distance relationship, it’s important to feel emotionally connected. But this connection is achieved through the quality of communication rather than the quantity. A couple that spends 15 hours on the phone every day is reaching a point where conversations become boring. 

Each person in such a relationship compromises their personal lives in an attempt to reach the unreachable, physical touch. When you are away from each other, there’s one simple fact you just have to accept: your need for physical connection will be unfulfilled. You may be feeling sad or frustrated about it, and that’s normal. 

It’s important for you to expect the lack of physical intimacy, so you know the reason for your sexual frustration. Otherwise, if you are feeling frustrated and don’t know why, you will also be confused, and this will bring about more negative feelings.

The best thing couples in long-distance relationships can do is to focus on something that they can control, like improving their communication. 

For example, sharing how you feel is something you can learn how to do better. Making a plan to visit each other in the future is another example. You can also take the time to learn each other’s preferences for various aspects of your long-distance relationship.

Touching each other and having sex – is not possible when you are away. Focusing on something which is not possible, only leads to more disappointment. While you are in a long-distance romantic relationship, focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t.

One important thing you can focus on while in a long-distance relationship is communication. But talking about mundane things for hours every day, can be a waste of time and can hurt your relationship in the long run.

To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, agree on 2-3 days a week to talk for a few hours. This will give you both time to do your own things, so you will have something new and exciting to share. Apart from sharing your life events, talk about something meaningful, things that are important to each of you, and your relationship.


Excessive communication in a long-distance relationship

In a long-distance relationship, it’s easy to have excessive communication. It’s a way of compensating for the lack of physical closeness. In the beginning, it may seem fine to spend an extra few minutes talking to each other. But the problem is that this effort to compensate doesn’t work because no amount of talking can replace the physical touch of the person for whom you have romantic feelings.

No matter how much you talk, you will always want to talk more.

It can be a good idea to agree on how often you talk to your partner and try to stick to it. While you want to keep in touch and to maintain an emotional connection, you need to be careful of conversations becoming boring and time-consuming. You’d be better of having a pleasant and informative short conversation, rather than drag them out until they become full of nonsense. 

Another danger of excessive communication is that it will take over your physical reality. In a long-distance relationship, your reality is that you will have a lack of physical closeness.

It’s very hard to be away from your romantic partner for a long period. That’s why you should make goals to visit each other frequently and have a plan to move in together.


Lack of communication in a long-distance relationship

Lack of communication is a sign of an unhealthy long-distance relationship. There are two reasons why you may feel that you don’t have enough communication in your relationship. One reason is that you may interpret that your communication is not enough because you want more, to feel closer. 

This could mean that you are starting to feel disconnected from your long-distance partner. Another reason is that now you communicate less than before. This can be a sign that you are growing apart, which can happen when couples are in a long-distance relationship for too long.


Ways to improve communication in a long-distance relationship

If you feel that you are lacking understanding of your long-distance relationship, you can always improve how you communicate. Better communication can help you express your feelings more clearly and help you understand your partner’s point of view.

There are many ways how to improve your communication skills. You should focus on two main skills: expressing yourself and listening to your partner. To help you get started, you can use a Q&A Journal that will guide you through questions and points you can discuss with your partner.


Communication problems in a long-distance relationship

Here are some common communication problems in a long-distance relationship:

  • Bad communication in a long-distance relationship
  • Poor communication in a long-distance relationship
  • The communication gap in a long-distance relationship
  • Communication breakdown in a long-distance relationship
  • Losing communication in a long-distance relationship
  • Boring communication in a long-distance relationship
  • Idealisation and communication in long-distance premarital relationships

How to communicate effectively in a long-distance relationship

The only way to break the cycle of misunderstanding and blame is to talk about it. Sure, you talk all the time, but is your partner hearing you the way you intend it? How you talk is what makes the difference. A slight improvement in communication can bring you and your partner closer together. 

Here are 3 steps to help you express yourself so that your long-distance partner can understand you better:

STEP 1 – Get your partner’s attention

When something comes to your mind, you may feel the need to share it with your partner. But they might think their own, ‘very important’ thoughts. Check that they are listening.

Ask your partner if it’s a good time for them to hear you out and pay attention to what you have to say. If it is not a good time, tell them you would like to share something with them. Agree with the time that would work for both of you.

STEP 2 – Say what you need to say

A girl expressing her feelings in a long-distance relationship. Saying too much or too little can be a problem. It’s easy to overthink before saying something. By the time it comes out, we already gave it so much thought and importance.

By overthinking we worry about our partner’s response. We question ourselves if we should say something or keep quiet. Converse with your partner without having all these worries and fears. Express whatever is on your mind, knowing that your partner will understand what you mean.

STEP 3 – Check your partner heard you

We strongly need to share and who is better to do it with than the person closest to us, the person we trust. Your partner cares about you, but it doesn’t mean that they care about everything you say. Don’t continue talking for over 2 minutes without a response.

Don’t accept ‘uh-huh’ as a confirmation that they got what you are saying. Ask your partner to repeat what they heard you say and see if it matches your intention. Observe their body language and facial expressions.


Conclusion

Communication in a long-distance relationship is slightly different from when you are face to face. When you share your feelings, it’s important to know that your partner heard you. To avoid misunderstandings when you make a plan, you need to make sure you are on the same page.

While overcommunication in a long-distance relationship is common, too much communication isn’t healthy.

Communication is the key to a long-distance relationship. Healthy and effective communication can help you keep your long-distance relationship fun and exciting. Once you can communicate effectively with your long-distance partner, you will be able to resolve issues as they arise and reassure each other when you feel lost and alone.


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Frequently Asked Questions

What is effective communication?

Effective communication in a relationship is the skill of expressing yourself. And doing so in a way that your partner understands you. When you express yourself it’s easy for your partner to understand what you want. Once they know what you want, they can do what you ask. Learn more

Why is effective communication important for a healthy long-distance relationship?

Effective communication can help you find the source of your problems. Once you know the cause of the problem, you can find the solutions. Learn more

What is a healthy frequency of communication in a long-distance relationship?

To have healthy communication in a long-distance relationship, you should agree on the means and frequency that works for both of you. Learn more

Is communication important in a long-distance relationship?

Communication is important in any relationship. In a long-distance relationship, it varies in some ways, which we’ve talked about in this article. The biggest difference is the lack of communication via physical touch. So it’s important to communicate with clarity and to make sure that your partner understands you. Learn more

How often should you communicate in a long-distance relationship?

Every relationship has an ideal number, although it’s more like a scale. Talk to your partner to discover how often is too often and what is not enough for each of you. Use the effective communication techniques described in this article to find what works for your relationship. Learn more

Do you need to talk every day in a long-distance relationship?

To feel the connection, a lot of couples in a long-distance relationship have a strong need to talk every day. And as long as it works for both of you, great. You may begin to notice problems when one of you wants to talk more often, while another needs to get on with their life. So next time you talk to your partner, check how they feel about your frequency of communication and if they prefer to talk more or less. Learn more

How do you communicate in a long-distance relationship?

The two aspects of communication are the means and frequency. In other words, what is your preferred method of communication and how often do you need to talk. Both of them aim to help you maintain the emotional connection. Work out these technicalities first, so you can focus on freely sharing your feelings. Learn more

How do you deal with silent treatment in a long-distance relationship?

Silent treatment shouldn’t exist in a healthy relationship. To key to having a successful relationship lies in your ability to work out your differences. A long-distance makes it harder to navigate a relationship as it is. Extra nonsense like the silent treatment will only make it more painful. Either find a way to make your long-distance relationship work or save yourself the trouble and end it. Learn more

How effective communication applies to a long-distance relationship?

Lack of clarity leads to assumptions and misunderstandings. This is one of the main reasons long-distance relationships fail. Sometimes we are afraid of getting clear because clarity means facing the truth. We don’t always like what we see and we may ignore the issue altogether. This is ok for a holiday fling or a short-lasting relationship. But, if you are serious about making it work, clarity is a must. Learn more

How do you fix communication in a long-distance relationship?

To fix communication issues in your long-distance relationship, you should improve your verbal and written communication skills. Learn more

Alex Larryngton

Hi, I’m Alex:) As a Relationship Coach, I am someone you come to when you feel stuck in a relationship and want to find a way out.

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