Are you in a long-distance relationship wondering how long it should last? While the answer to this question is straightforward, there are a few things you should consider.
Long-distance relationships last until a couple find their way to each other or end their relationship. They can last a long time, but that doesn’t make them healthy, successful, or even worth it. Just because a long-distance relationship lasts a long-time, it doesn’t mean it works.
Some couples believe that if they survive the distance, their relationship is a success. But while it may be so if their sole objective is to be together, the reality is more complex than that. Some couples persevere through the long-distance relationship just to break up shortly after their reunion.
Long-distance affect relationships in ways that can change your relationship forever. If you want to have a healthy and successful relationship, you should know how to handle the distance. And part of it is to know how long your long-distance relationship should last.
Can long-distance relationships last?
A long-distance relationship can last until a couple moves in together or ends the relationship. For example, if both partners are committed to their relationship, they can make it last for years. But the real question is whether or not they are happy during this time.
Sometimes the sense of duty and commitment can override your feelings. In other words, you maintain a long-distance relationship even if it brings you nothing but bad feelings. Just because you made promises that you don’t want to break.
After some time the need for physical intimacy can get too much and partners find someone they can be with physically. Cheating is an outcome of an unfulfilled need for physical closeness, that hasn’t been addressed in time. In many cases, cheating (sleeping with other people) is mixed together with distrust, but that’s not always the case.
There’s a difference between trust and the need for physical intimacy.
Couples in long-distance relationships can feel deprived of physical closeness. If you have understanding and trust, you can talk to your partner about your feelings and needs. And going forward, you could find a solution that can work for both of you.
However, in a lot of cases, couples deal with a long-distance relationship out of necessity, rather than choice. It’s quite common to feel afraid and insecure when you don’t know what your partner is doing and you miss them like crazy. You start having different thoughts and create stories. While they may not be true, if you think about them long enough, they become part of your reality.
Ironically, these very same insecurities can give birth to jealousy and distrust. After some time they may lead to arguments and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the kind of problem that happens when you try to make a long-distance relationship last when it’s not working.
For the moment, one thing to remember is the longer you make your long-distance relationship last, the stronger the need for physical intimacy, and the more it will affect your relationship, whether you are aware of it or not.
So, to say that long-distance relationships never last would be incorrect. Also, generalisation doesn’t help as it tells you what’s possible. But anything you set your mind too is possible. It may not be a healthy or happy relationship, but you can make it work all the same if you choose to.
How long should a long-distance relationship last?
A long-distance relationship should last as long as it works for both partners. Every person has their preferences on how much physical closeness they need to feel connected to their partner. Usually, one partner needs physical intimacy more than others, which makes it more difficult for them to be in a long-distance relationship. That’s why it’s important that you talk to each other and hear each other out. Because even if you are ok to be apart for a while, your partner might struggle with it.
A long-distance relationship can only work when both partners are ok happy with it.
When long-distance relationships get hard, partners focus on their own feelings. This is a sure way to make your relationship even harder. And if this lasts for a long time, it’s going to become a struggle or end altogether.
Long-distance relationships can last for a few weeks or they can last for years. Your long-distance relationship can last by making it work or by sheer patience. You can have a healthy long-distance relationship that doesn’t last long. Or you can have a long-distance relationship that lasts a long time but makes you unhappy.
So you can make your long-distance relationship last a long time. But there’s a balance between the quality of your relationship and the time it lasts. With some knowledge and understanding of what a long-distance relationship is and how to handle it, you can have a long-distance relationship that brings you happiness.
How long is too long for long-distance relationship?
In every long-distance relationship comes a point when it becomes unbearable. It can result from a lack of physical intimacy or one partner losing the emotional connection.
Trying to make your long-distance relationship beyond this point may not only be unhealthy, but it can also be a waste of time.
One of the first signs that your relationship is starting to last too long is when you are holding back your feelings instead of sharing them.
Another sign is talking too much or too little. If you talk too much, you might be trying to feel closer, because you are losing the connection. If you talk too little, you might be avoiding conversations because they are no longer fun.
Try talking to your partner about the big picture of your long-distance relationship. Discuss how long it lasted and share your feelings about it. In the end, you can make a short-term plan of where you’d like this relationship to go, can you make it work and how much longer it can last.
How long can a long-distance relationship last without seeing each other?
Long-distance relationships are romantic relationships. A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy as well as an emotional connection.
You can maintain an emotional connection by having trust, understanding, and open communication. Physical intimacy, on the other hand, can become an issue.
If you have the money and time to visit each other as often as you’d like, then it’s not a problem. But for couples who don’t have that freedom, it can be a deal-breaker.
How can a long-distance relationship last?
The success of a long-distance relationship doesn’t depend on whether or not you can make it last. A successful long-distance relationship is the one that helps you achieve your relationship goals. If you are starting a new long-distance relationship with someone you met online, your goal is to get to know each other and possibly move in together.
You can also opt-in for an open long-distance relationship.
It’s a less serious relationship and is more like a holiday. The idea of ‘sharing’ a partner with others doesn’t sit well with most people. But if your long-distance relationship isn’t working, and you have no way of getting together, it could be worth a try before you decide to end it altogether.
How to make long-distance relationship last?
Some couples try to make their relationship last long-distance as long as possible. But that’s a wrong approach that leads to unfulfilled needs and suffering.
While the reasons might be noble, in most cases trying to have a real relationship long-distance brings more suffering than the joy of being together. Couples in long-distance relationships go from having fun to making it work to surviving the distance and in some cases breaking up.
To have a healthy long-distance relationship you need to know why you are in one, how long it’s going to last and how you are feeling about having a partner without being able to share a physical experience.
Depends on several things:
- How much do you want to stay together?
- How long are you happy to be in a long-distance relationship?
- How long did a long-distance relationship last so far?
- If you are already in a long-distance relationship, how long have you been apart, and are you feeling about it so far?
Do long-distance relationships last in college?
Teenage long-distance relationships can last all through college. But it’s not an easy thing to do, nor do I think it’s necessary. When young people go to college, there are many temptations to get together with other people, particularly in the freshman year. And while you may have all the intentions to stay together, in reality, it requires a lot of restraint.
Teenage years are supposed to be the time to discover the world and grow as a person.
If you restrain yourself, you will miss out on this opportunity. And it may come back to you in your future relationship. If, however, you get to study, party and meet new people, you’ll learn what you like and what you don’t. After having a few relationships, you will be clear about what kind of relationships are right for you.
How long can a long-distance marriage last?
A long-distance marriage is somewhat different to a less committed relationship. It can be hard to maintain a relationship over a long-distance.
In an “unbound” relationship, if your feelings change, you can act on it quite freely. You can discuss your feelings and if your long-distance relationship isn’t working, you can just end there and then.
A long-distance marriage means you are in a more serious relationship. Marriage means you have shared history and have plans. It also means that you are very committed to each other.
All this means that if you lose feeling or your feelings fade away, your commitment can still keep you together. One thing you can do is to talk it out with your partner as if you don’t have this marital commitment. Doing so will help you home in on your true feelings. Once your feeling is out in the open, you can factor in goals and objectives for your relationship.
Together, you can make your long-distance relationship last for a bit longer or see if it’s time for a change.
Long-distance relationships can last for years or they can last for a few months. But how long your relationship lasts long-distance is less important as how healthy it is during this time.
People see long-distance relationships as something very hard, where the suffering is inevitable. And sure, in some aspects, long-distance relationships can be challenging. But a long-distance relationship isn’t a race, by the end of which you get a medal. Like any other relationship, it’s a journey that requires your time.
So if you don’t enjoy the journey, you might be wasting your time that can be better spent with someone else. That’s not to say that you have to break up at the first hurdle, of course not. There are many ways to make your long-distance relationship work. And even when you find yourself dealing with some issues, there’s a chance they can be fixed.
Whether you decide to make your long-distance relationship last or to cut it short, make sure you decide together with your partner openly and honestly. If you need any help or guidance, fill in this quiz to get a personalised response.
GETTING SOME HELP
I hope that this article answered some of your questions. If you are struggling and could do with more help, here is how you can get it:
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- If you still feel confused and overwhelmed and could do with individual help, BOOK your online session. You can discuss your situation with a relationship coach one2one or have a virtual appointment together with your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long do long-distance relationships last?
A long-distance relationship is a phase and not a complete relationship. While it can work very well for a short period, after some point it can become destructive for your relationship. Learn more
Can a long-distance relationship last?
A long-distance relationship can last as long as you make it last. But, you should know why you are trying to make it last. If it’s out of duty or obligation, maybe take some time to talk about it with your partner to see if it’s worth it. Learn more
Is a long-distance relationship sustainable?
A long-distance is sustainable, but it doesn’t make it healthy. You can sustain your long-distance relationship for a long time, but at some point, it becomes unhealthy and leads to problems. Learn more
Do long-distance relationships last in college?
How long your long-distance relationship lasts depends on you and your partner. Before one of you goes to college, agree that whatever happens, you can still be friends. This way, if your feelings change or you meet someone else, you would be able to talk about it instead of feeling guilty and potentially cheating. Learn more
How long can a long-distance marriage last?
A long-distance marriage can last longer than other long-distance relationship. Mainly because it’s a more serious relationship with greater commitment. But you should take care and avoid maintaining a long-distance marriage because you feel forced to do so. If your feelings change, talk about it, discuss it, and find a way forward that works for both of you. Learn more