How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship


How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship

Long-distance relationships can be hard to handle. If you treat them like a normal relationship, you will run into some bumps.

If you find yourself struggling in a long-distance relationship here is how you can handle it:

  1. Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is and not for what you want it to be.
  2. If something isn’t working, figure out what it is.
  3. Assess your possibilities and set realistic expectations about your relationship.
  4. Recognise your feelings and talk to your partner about how they feel about being in a long-distance relationship.
  5. Agree on the means and frequency of your communication.
  6. Maintain trust, honesty, and openness.
  7. Remember to talk about meaningful things.
  8. Avoid talking too much about nothing.
  9. Make a plan and a timeline for how often you will visit each other, and when you will move in together.

Long-distance relationships are great in many ways. However, they have two main challenges: communication and lack of physical intimacy. Suppose you don’t know how to handle these two aspects of a relationship. In that case, it will get more challenging, and with time will ruin your relationship altogether.


How Do You Handle a Long-Distance Relationship?

To effectively handle a long-distance relationship, you need to maintain an emotional connection through effective communication and physical intimacy with frequent visits.

In terms of communication, agree with your partner when is the best time for you to talk. If you live in different countries, the time difference can be a significant obstacle in your communication. One issue with the time difference is syncing your schedules. Another problem is being in the right frame of mind to talk.

Depending on your routine and the time difference, one of you may be fresh and ready to have a conversation. At the same time, the other one is going to be tired after work needing a rest.

There are ways you can make it work in a long-distance relationship, but only for a few months. If your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, it will get progressively harder to maintain.

Another big issue that you need to handle correctly is the lack of physical intimacy. When you live with your romantic partner, you see each other every day and physical intimacy isn’t as much of a problem. However, in a long-distance relationship, you can only be physically close when you visit each other or go on trips together.

A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy with another person. So it’s normal to expect physical closeness when you’re starting a romantic relationship. It’s also normal and expected to get sexually frustrated if you can’t be close to your magic partner regularly.


How to Know If You Can Handle a Long-Distance Relationship?

When you are starting a long-distance relationship, you might be having doubts about whether or not you can handle a long-distance relationship.

If you meet someone special online, distance shouldn’t deter you from getting to know that person. However, you should also know how to handle a long-distance relationship and what to expect from it.

For example, long-distance relationships are great for getting to know someone who lives far away from you. But after you got to know each other well enough, will come a time for you to visit each other to see how you get on in real life.

After visiting each other for a few months, you may discover that you want to have a go at living together. But, to move in together, you need the means and opportunity to do so. If you can’t move in together, your long-distance relationship will become a struggle where most of your time you spend wishing for something you cannot have.

A way to handle your long-distance relationship is by setting realistic goals and expectations from the very beginning.

When you begin a new relationship, first of all you get to know each other. But soon after that, particularly if your relationship is getting serious you should consider setting some specific goals for your LDR. Many couples skip this step and end up struggling in a perpetual long-distance relationship, which, without a direction, can get pretty daunting relatively quickly. Since it can be a challenging task for many, we’ve created a workbook that’ll help you out with getting started:

Setting Goals In Your Long-Distance Relationship

How to Handle a New Long-Distance Relationship? 

Many couples expect a long-distance relationship to fulfil them in the same ways as a regular relationship.

If you want to succeed in your long-distance relationship, you should recognise it for what it is. Trying to make a long-distance relationship work the same way as when you live with your romantic partner, will only bring your suffering.

When you start a new long-distance relationship online, the main thing you should know is how to handle your communication.

Be aware that when you are getting to know someone online, you create an image in your head about this person, but it’s not the real person.

Until you meet in real life, you won’t know what this person is like and how it feels to be together. At the beginning of a new long-distance relationship, you can happily spend a few months getting to know each other’s interests, values, and beliefs. You can learn about each other’s history, interests, hobbies, and goals.

If you find you share common interests or enjoy talking to each other, it’s worth meeting to see how you get on.


How to Handle Missing Someone in a Long-Distance Relationship? 

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you will have a lot of time by yourself with your thoughts. If you are a positive person, you will probably be quite happy by yourself.

Long-distance relationships have many uncertainties that can lead to doubts if you are prone to doubt and insecurities. Being alone while in a long-distance relationship can be a daunting and depressing experience.

Long-distance relationships are romantic, so you expect physical intimacy. However, couples who live far away from each other can only be physically close during their visits. Some couples have a luxury of visiting each other every week, which can work very well for them. However, many couples go for weeks and sometimes months without seeing each other.

The problem with having a long-distance relationship for a long time is twofold. On one hand, you are not getting any physical intimacy from the person you are in a relationship with. On the other hand, by being in the relationship, you’re closed to the possibilities of being with someone else.

It means that you will be missing your long-distance partner a lot of time instead of enjoying their company. If you find yourself feeling lonely, it’s good to have a plan and a timeline that can reassure you that your long-distance relationship has a direction.

When you have something to look forward to, you can stop worrying about your relationship, enjoy your own company, or do things with your friends or family.

If you want to see each other more frequently but are feeling powerless to do anything about it, this workbook will give a different perspective on your relationship. It will also help you make the most of your visits and learn to manage your relationship when you are apart.

Visiting in a Long-Distance Relationship

How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship Sexually?

The only way you can handle your long-distance relationship sexually is by regularly visiting your long-distance partner.

Long-distance relationships are innately hard because of the lack of physical intimacy. If you’re starting a new long-distance relationship, you can spend a few months getting to know each other. However, if you plan to have a full romantic relationship, you need a plan to move in together.

Moving in together can be a challenging experience emotionally and financially. But, if you find someone you love and enjoy spending time with, living together is the next step towards a serious relationship.

Meanwhile, while you live apart, you can maintain sexual intimacy by talking about sexual things online, play naughty games or having virtual sex. These things can make your long-distance relationship more fun. However, they won’t replace physical intimacy.


How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship in College?

Having a long-distance relationship in college can be challenging, and sometimes unnecessary. College is the place where you meet a lot of like-minded people and from many different relationships.

Suppose you are committed to someone else who isn’t there. In that case, your long-distance relationship can become a burden that keeps you away from enjoying your time in college.

Many couples try to maintain their relationship long-distance in college, but usually, it doesn’t last for more than a few months. What is worse, it’s that it prompts cheating and lying.

So, if you are in a relationship with someone you love and are planning to go to college, consider staying friends or having an open a long-distance relationship. 


How to Handle Long-Distance Relationship Problems?

The most effective way to handle long-distance relationship problems is by having open, honest, and clear communication. Poor communication is a source of many unnecessary arguments in long-distance relationships.

At the same time, effective communication can help you maintain emotional intimacy and resolve most of the issues you might face.

If you feel that your long-distance relationship has an issue, the first thing you should do is talk to your partner about your concerns. Take time to hear their point of view and listen to their feelings.

As long as you have understanding and willingness to hear each other, most of the time, you can find a solution that works for both of you.

If you are serious about learning about your long-distance relationship and how to make it work, this workbook is a must-have:

How To Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

How to Handle Silent Treatment in a Long-Distance Relationship?

The silent treatment is something that couples resort to in regular relationships. While it’s unhealthy, sometimes people need a bit of space for themselves to think about the situation.

Even if you don’t talk in a regular relationship, you still communicate by being next to each other. You communicate with body language and subtle changes in behaviours that your partner can pick up on different awareness levels.

In a long-distance relationship, verbal and written communication is the only way to interact with your partner. In this case, silent treatment means no communication.

A long-distance relationship comes with many uncertainties that can cause doubts and insecurities. If you don’t talk to your long-distance partner, they will have no idea what is going on and will think of the worst-case scenario.

So, if you find yourself in a long-distance relationship with the silent treatment, talk to your partner. Ask them if they would like a little bit of space from you and this relationship. If they do, you should grant them this wish.

Taking a little break from your long-distance relationship can give you, and your long-distance partner and opportunity to reassess your relationship.

You can get a new perspective and decide whether or not you are happy the way it is. You may also find things that you would like to change.

A silent treatment isn’t the best way to communicate your dislikes. The success of your long-distance relationship is directly related to the quality of your communication. So, I believe it’s worth investing your time and effort and going through this workbook as it will help you lay the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship:

Improve Communication in Your Long-Distance Relationship

How to Handle Jealousy in a Long-Distance Relationship? 

Jealousy is wanting something that someone else has. In a long-distance relationship, you might be jealous of your partner’s friends who get to spend more time with them than you.

Jealousy is the envy of other people. Suppose you find yourself being jealous in a long-distance relationship. In that case, you might be tempted to restrict your partner’s ability to enjoy themselves. Doing so can lead to many issues and controlling behaviour.

Instead of trying to take something away from your partner, bring what they have into your life. For example, if your partner spends a lot of time with their friends, instead of complaining, you can try to spend more time with your friends or generally doing things you love.

Bringing more joy in your life will make you a more exciting partner and draw your partner towards you. Whereas if all you do is complain about your long-distance partner and tell them what to do and what not to do, they will be put off by it.

In a long-distance relationship, jealousy can lead to emotional distance between you and your partner. When that happens, it will also be challenging to repair your relationship.


What to Do if You Can’t Handle Long-Distance Relationship Anymore?

If you feel that your long-distance relationship is becoming too much and you can’t handle it any more, it might be worth taking some time apart.

Tell your long-distance partner that you would like a week apart to get in touch with yourself and your feelings. It will allow you to reflect on your relationship and bring your mind to knowing what you want from it.

As a bonus, it will also allow your partner a chance to reflect for themselves.

After a week apart you may discover that you can see things more clearly and find solutions for your problems. You may also find that your long-distance relationship isn’t working for you and you may want to end it.

Whatever you discover, try to share it with your long-distance partner.

Instead of concluding for yourself that your long-distance relationship isn’t working and you decide to break up, tell them why you feel that way. Share with your partner what you think isn’t working. This way, you can determine your next steps together, instead of giving them an ultimatum.


How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship Break up? 

Many long-distance couples don’t handle their break up correctly. In most cases, one partner decides that they no longer want to be together in this relationship. Then they look for ways to inform their partner about it.

This is the wrong way to go about it. It’s disrespectful towards your partner and towards yourself. Seeing how you started your relationship together, you should also end it together.

If you feel that your long-distance is no longer working and falling apart, share your feelings, thoughts and concerns with your partner. Express yourself as much as you can and as much as you want.

The part that makes the difference is taking the time to let your partner express their thoughts, feelings and their point of view. When you try to find understanding with your long-distance partner, you might fix the problems that caused your relationship to fail.

You may also find that there is no way for you to fix the problems, or that your feelings have faded away. In that case, you can agree to end your romantic long-distance relationship. But you may still decide to stay friends or to keep in touch.

Contrary to popular belief, relationships don’t have to end with argument and hatred.

When couples get together, they promise to each other to be together forever. But life happens, feelings and circumstances change. That is normal and is something you can expect from your relationship as well.

One thing you can control is how you handle yourself when these changes take place.


Conclusion

Suppose you want to have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship. In that case, you should know how to handle different aspects of your relationship.

A long-distance relationship is different from a regular one because of the lack of physical intimacy and a different way of communicating.

While long-distance relationships are great to get to know someone new online, you should meet in real life after a few months. It’s hard to tell what it is like to be with that person until you meet someone.

After you’ve met, you will know whether you can have a serious relationship or not. If you decide to have a serious romantic relationship, you need to talk about moving in together. Romantic relationship implies physical intimacy. 

In a long-distance relationship, you can only get physical closeness when you visit each other. A romantic relationship without physical intimacy won’t work for a long time. And if you try to make it work, it may bring you more suffering enjoy.


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Frequently Asked Questions

How can I handle a long-distance relationship?

You can handle a long-distance relationship by recognising that it is different from a regular relationship. When you live together with your partner, you see each other every day. You can be physically together whenever you like. In a long-distance relationship, your physical intimacy is only available when you visit each other. To compensate for the lack of physical intimacy you need to maintain an emotional connection through effective communication.

How can I handle a long-distance relationship that is falling apart?

If you feel that your long-distance relationship isn’t working, you can explore why it isn’t working and what issues you need to address. The best way to go about it is by expressing your doubts and concerns to your long-distance partner. Also, take time to listen to their point of view. Once you understand each other, you can find solutions to most problems.


How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

Alex Barinov

Hi, I’m Alex:) I am a relationship coach. My passions include understanding life, relationships and human behaviour. As a coach, I help couples resolve their conflicts and create a harmonious and loving relationship.

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