How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Last


How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Last

If you are in the long-distance relationship and want to make it last until you get a chance to move in together, but don’t know-how.

Here are some things you can do to make your long-distance relationship last:

  1. Talk to your long-distance partner about what you want from this long-distance relationship.
  2. Make a plan for how long the long-distance will last in your relationship until you can move in together.
  3. Agree on how often you are going to talk to each other.
  4. Schedule your visits to see each other regularly.
  5. Agree to be open and honest about your feelings about each other and your relationship, even if they change.

It’s okay to make your long-distance relationship last for a few months while you are getting to know someone online. However, if it lasts for too long, a long-distance relationship can be hard to maintain.

Suppose you are looking for a serious romantic relationship. In that case, you should have a plan on when you will be able to move in together and how you will make the long-distance relationship work in the meantime.

So the big question here is, do you want the long-distance to last or do you want a relationship to last?


Step 1 – Talk to Your Long-Distance Partner About What You Want from this Long-Distance Relationship

When you start a long-distance relationship, you don’t always know where it’s going to take you. But most of the time you know what you’re looking for in a romantic partner.

For example, you might be looking for a casual relationship where you can travel and see each other from time to time. Perhaps, you want to start a more serious relationship with someone from a different culture.

Whatever your reasons, you and your prospective partner should be on the same page. If you know what you want from the relationship, you can talk about it with the special someone you met online. 

If you don’t know what you want from a partner and the relationship, you’re more likely to end up in relationships that won’t work for you.

Keep in mind that you don’t need to do it right away. It will take you a couple of months to get to know each other’s beliefs, values, and interests. But if you are getting on well together, there will come a time for you to visit each other. If you enjoy each other’s company, you can consider moving in together.

While it skips many people’s attention, sharing your feelings, thoughts and desires is one of the most fundamental things in a relationship. Unless you express how you feel, what you think, and what you want, you partner will not know any of that. So, even if they want to make your relationship work, it’ll be next to impossible without know the state of your relationship, which depends on how each of you feels. If you or your partner find it difficult to express and share, use this workbook as a guide to get you talking and discussing what’s important for you and your relationship:

Improve communication in your long-distance relationship - WORKBOOK

Step 2 – Make a Plan for How Long Your Long-Distance Relationship Will Last Until You Can Move in Together

While in the beginning, long-distance relationships can be a lot of fun, at some point if you like each other you will want to take the next step. 

Long-distance relationships have a lot of uncertainties. Your worries and insecurities can turn into doubts and distrust. A plan and a timeline can give you reassurance and a direction for where you’re heading in your relationship.

Suppose you are already in a relationship before the long-distance comes into it. In that case, you also need to plan for when you can get back together. Long-distance relationships have a lack of physical intimacy; that’s why they shouldn’t last for too long.

If you don’t yet have a plan for your relationship, you absolutely need one if your relationship is to have any chance of success. To help you get started, here’s a practical workbook that will guide you through the necessary steps:


Step 3 – Agree on How Often You Are Going to Talk to Each Other as long as Your Relationship Lasts the Long Distance

When you are away from your romantic partner, effective communication will help you maintain emotional intimacy. Without effective communication, you may have a lot of confusion and misunderstanding is that it can result in unnecessary arguments.

Choosing the best means for your communication is equally important. Some people prefer texting, while others prefer phone or video calls.

It means that if your partner prefers to have conversations over a video call, they may not be willing to spend too much time texting.

Two major problems in communication while in a long-distance relationship are excessive communication and lack of communication. If you spend too much time talking to your long-distance partner, your conversations will become boring, and you will run out of things to say. You will also have less time to do something you enjoy with people you love.

If you don’t communicate enough, you risk drifting apart.

To maintain the connection in a long-distance relationship, you should talk about interesting and meaningful things. Sharing your feelings, doubts, and concerns will help you stay connected and maintain understanding.

What is a romantic relationship without physical intimacy? It is either a friendship or an unhealthy relationship. So, as long as you are in an LDR, you absolutely need to make sure you are visiting each other regularly. It is equally important that during your visits you discuss your relationship. Many couples make a mistake of making the most of it by having fun and completely ignoring the problems.

Visits are your opportunity to connect physically and emotionally. And, to do that you need to talk about everything that comes to your mind regarding your relationship. This includes all the good parts and all the challenges. Unless you identify the problems, there’s nothing you’ll be able to do to fix them and this in turn will destroy your relationship or at the least it’ll make your LDR unbearable. If you don’t know where to start, use this workbook together with your partner to get on the same page and make your every visit count:

Visiting In A Long-Distance Relationship - WORKBOOK

Step 4 – Schedule Your Visits to See Each Other Regularly

The lack of physical intimacy is a big issue in a long-distance relationship. The only way for you to maintain a physical connection is when you visit each other or go on spontaneous trips together.

That’s why you must schedule regular visits to maintain a physical connection with your long-distance partner.


Step 5 – Agree to Be Open and Honest About Your Feelings About Each Other and Your Relationship, even if They Change. 

Throughout your relationship, your feelings may change. If you have poor communication or aren’t in a position to see each other often enough, you may drift apart.

You can avoid many issues by having open and honest communication. It’s also essential that you express yourself clearly so that your partner understands what you mean. Doing so will help you avoid confusion and misunderstandings.

Poor communication can lead to unnecessary fights that can ruin your long-distance relationship.

If you don’t see each other regularly, you may develop sexual frustration. This frustration will spill into other aspects of your life and will make your relationship more challenging.


Conclusion

When you find yourself in love with someone who leaves away from you, you may face a long-distance relationship. 

Long-distance relationships are a great way to meet new people or a way to maintain an existing relationship if you have to be away from your current partner.

The problem with trying to make a long-distance relationship last for a long time is the lack of physical intimacy. A romantic relationship implies having someone close to you with whom you can be sexually intimate whenever you feel like it.

When you are in the long-distance relationship for a long time, your sexual needs will be unfulfilled. At that point, you can either suppress your feelings and try to make your long-distance relationship lasts longer. But doing so is going to backfire, and your relationship is likely to turn into a struggle that brings you more suffering than joy and fulfilment.

Many couples try to make the long-distance relationship last as long as they can. They do so, even if they are unhappy in this relationship. If you find yourself in this predicament, take a week away from your relationship to reassess if it’s worth it for you or not.


Frequently Asked Questions

How to make my long-distance relationship last?

You can make your long-distance relationship last by having effective communication, a plan, and a timeline for when you will move in together. A long-distance relationship without an end date can you bring you a lot of uncertainties. The uncertainty, doubts and insecurities can quickly turn your relationship into suffering.

How to make a teenage long-distance relationship last?

As a teenager, you may have fun having a relationship with someone who lives far away. The problem with that is that you close yourself from forming relationships with people around you. Suppose you are in love and you have the means to visit each other regularly. In that case, you can try to maintain a fun and exciting long-distance relationship. But if you find yourself struggling in such a relationship and being depressed from missing your partner, perhaps it’s time to reconsider being in one.


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Alex Barinov

Hi, I’m Alex:) I am a relationship coach. My passions include understanding life, relationships and human behaviour. As a coach, I help couples resolve their conflicts and create a harmonious and loving relationship.

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