If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you know that intimacy issues are part of your relationship.
Intimacy issues are quite common in long-distance relationships. There are two kinds of intimacy column emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. You can maintain emotional intimacy with your long-distance partner through trust and effective communication. The lack of physical intimacy can lead to many problems while you are in a long-distance relationship.
Issues with emotional intimacy in a long-distance relationship range from distrust to the feelings that fade away. While, you can manage emotional connection for some period, at some point you may start drifting apart.
Physical intimacy is an issue because you can only be physically close when you visit each other. If you have the means and the time to visit each other as often as you would like, this is less of a problem. However, many couples go for weeks without seeing each other. Having a romantic relationship where you cannot be physically close with your partner isn’t healthy.
Intimacy in a long-distance relationship
Many people think that intimacy is sex.
Intimacy is a trust and a connection between two partners.
A healthy relationship needs to have a balance of physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is reserved for special occasions when long-distance partners visit each other.
This lack of physical intimacy can create sexual frustration and put a strain on your long-distance relationship.
To have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy with emotional intimacy.
Physical intimacy is closeness, touching, kissing, sex. Emotional intimacy is the feeling of connection to the person that is your long-distance partner.
Is intimacy important in a long-distance relationship?
Intimacy is essential in a long-distance relationship. Without it, your long-distance relationship is not going to survive for too long.
It is because intimacy is so important in a long-distance relationship, that your relationship can be ruined if you don’t have enough intimacy.
You can see the importance of intimacy in a long-distance relationship. In a regular relationship, you have easy access to your partner on an everyday basis. You get to see each other to talk to each other to maintain emotional intimacy.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is impossible. Depending on your situation, you may not see your long-distance partner for weeks at a time.
While you are not seeing your romantic partner, your body still needs the reassurance that you are physically in a romantic relationship.
While you can think and talk about the fact that you are in a romantic relationship, your body feels different. When the need for physical intimacy is not fulfilled, you can start feeling sexually frustrated; this is normal.
How you deal with the lack of physical intimacy can make or break your long-distance relationship.
Emotional intimacy is the connection you feel to your long-distance partner. Thanks to the Internet, you can keep in touch with your long-distance partner as much as you want. You and your long-distance partner can feel emotionally connected through talking, video calling and exchanging gifts.
It’s easier to maintain emotional intimacy in a long-distance relationship than a physical connection.
But you still have to know how to stay emotionally connected when you are away from each other. Things like excessive communication can be just as destructive to your long-distance relationship as a lack of communication.
Intimacy issues in a long-distance relationship
Intimacy is one of the main issues in a long-distance relationship. Intimacy issues include lack of physical intimacy, no intimacy and fear of intimacy, among others.
Let’s explore each one of these issues in a little bit more detail…
Fear of intimacy in a long-distance relationship
Intimacy is a connection that you feel with your long-distance back. Some people are afraid of having this connection for fear of losing it. Ironically, it’s the fear of losing this connection that gets in the way of a person having this connection, to begin with.
People can be afraid of intimacy because of their previous experiences. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, both you and your long-distance partner have a history of your own.
Nobody comes into a relationship completely clear open and honest. Previous experiences affect your behaviour, your thoughts, and your beliefs.
There’s one thing you can do while in a long-distance relationship. You can talk about intimacy issues with your long-distance partner. If you recognise that you are afraid of intimacy, you should talk to your partner about it. The only way you can sort out your intimacy issues is by facing them.
Lack of intimacy in a long-distance relationship
Due to the very nature of long-distance relationships, lack of physical intimacy is what makes them hard.
That’s why long-distance relationships aren’t meant to last a long time. You can hold off for a few months without having sex with the person you are romantically involved with.
Some couples try to maintain their long-distance relationship for years.
In some cases, a person doesn’t have a healthy sex drive and doesn’t need to be physically close to their partner. For such people being away from their long-distance partner may not be such a big issue.
However, if you are okay, do not have a physical connection with your romantic partner, maybe there are underlying issues.
No intimacy in a long-distance relationship
When you don’t have physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship, you rely on emotional intimacy to help you feel connected to your long-distance partner.
Suppose you don’t take time to learn effective communication, or you are not completely honest with your long-distance partner. In that case, your long-distance relationship won’t work.
For example, you may have been in a long-distance relationship for a few months, and you feel deprived of physical intimacy. Your options are to suppress the need for physical intimacy and pretend that you are okay with it or find a way to work it out with your long-distance partner.
Suppose the absence of physical intimacy is bothering you. In that case, you should talk about it with your partner before it becomes an issue.
No physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship
The solution can be more frequent visits if it is physical intimacy that you need more off. If it is emotional intimacy that your liking, maybe your feelings have changed or perhaps you have developed feelings for another person.
Either way, you should talk to your long-distance partner about your feelings, and together you can find a way forward that works for both of you.
It’s not always that you can have the means to see each other as often as you want while in the long-distance relationship. But it doesn’t mean that you should neglect your need for physical intimacy.
If you cannot find a way to be together and you’re getting very frustrated, then having a break from this relationship may be a solution for you at present.
Maybe, later on, you will get back together, perhaps you will move on.
Lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship
Lack of physical intimacy makes it hard to make your long-distance relationship work.
In a long-distance relationship, the hardest thing is to be away from your partner. Most of the time, it’s because of circumstances rather than out of choice.
It’s challenging to maintain your relationship without physical affection. You don’t get the comfort of physical touch, a kiss or a hug.
Physical closeness helps you feel safe, calm, and content. Without it, it’s hard to judge the state of your relationship. The distance can strain your relationship, making it hard to remain emotionally connected. In this situation, you may feel helpless.
It may seem that all you can do is wait. You need to decide if you want to suck it up and stick it out or make your long-distance relationship work.
Sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship
When you don’t get to fulfil your need for physical intimacy for a long time, it’s normal to feel sexually frustrated.
Having a sexual life with your romantic partner is healthy. In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is minimal. You can have a very healthy long-distance friendship that lasts for years.
Still, you cannot have a healthy romantic relationship over a long-distance if you don’t get to see your long-distance partner often enough.
When you’re feeling sexually frustrated, this frustration will spill into other aspects of your life. If it lasts for a long time, it can harm your relationship and your life.
If this happens, you should reconsider your relationship and find a way to move in together or maybe have a break from your relationship.
Couples in a long-distance relationship face many issues with emotional and physical intimacy.
When you are away from your partner for a long time, your feelings may change, and you may start drifting apart. The lack of physical intimacy can lead to sexual frustration, which will negatively impact on your relationship as well as your personal lives.
To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, you need to be able to handle intimacy issues if and when they arise. The best way to do it is by having a plan and a timeline for how long your long-distance relationship will last and when you will be able to move in together.
When you have a plan, you will have the reassurance knowing the next time you will see each other and ultimately, when you will be living together. Having regular communication without talking too much is also important to maintain an emotional connection, without creating unnecessary problems.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How can I improve my intimacy in a long-distance relationship?
You can improve intimacy by working on your communication. Trust and understanding are cornerstones for a healthy relationship. The way you demonstrate it is through having clear and open communication. You know you are in a healthy long-distance relationship when you feel free to express your thoughts and feeling without the fear that your partner is going to judge you.
How do you maintain intimacy in a long-distance relationship?
You can maintain emotional intimacy in a long-distance relationship by having regular communication. Try to avoid excessive communication because it can lead to a boring conversation, and you may lose interest in your relationship. To maintain physical intimacy, you need to schedule regular visits and go on spontaneous trips together.
Is distance an issue in a relationship?
The distance can be an issue in the romantic relationship if you don’t have the means to overcome this distance. If you can see each other regularly, then the distance is less of an issue. If you don’t have the means to see each other as often as you would like, after a few months you might find yourself struggling in a long-distance relationship while having sexual frustration which will penetrate other aspects of your lives.
How to stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship?
To stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship, you need to agree on how much and how often you talk to each other. Talking to little, can result in you drifting apart. Talking too much can lead to boring conversations and take away the time you could be doing something interesting and exciting with your life. Trust and understanding are on essential components of making a long-distance relationship work and maintaining emotional connection.
How to make love in a long-distance relationship?
You can only make love in the long-distance relationship when you visit each other all go on trips together. You can try to maintain a physical connection by sending each other handwritten letters, gifts, and care packages. You can also play with each other online. But none of these replaces physical closeness, which is an essential part of a romantic relationship.
How to handle a long-distance relationship sexually?
While in a long-distance relationship, you can do things like sexting and play with each other over phone calls and video calls. If you are a visual person, video calls will work better for you. If you are an auditory person, sex calls will do just fine. Sexting will keep your long-distance partner excited throughout the day. While this can work for a short period, to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship long-term, you need to visit each other regularly and plan spontaneous fun trips together.
How to show love in a long-distance relationship?
In a long-distance relationship, you can show love by sending an occasional text message saying how much you love your partner and let them know you are thinking about them. Gifts and care packages are a fun way to give your partner something tangible, something physical that they can associate with you. One of the most romantic ways to express your love is by sending your partner a handwritten letter telling them how you feel about them and how much they contribute to your life.
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