Is Distance Good for a Relationship?


Is Distance Good for a Relationship?

Most of us have been or will be in a long-distance relationship at some point in our lives. In long-distance relationships we wonder how to carry on with everyday life, enjoying it, and to make sure we are fulfilling emotional and physical connection.

The distance doesn’t make a relationship harder, it makes it different. Distance helps to remind ourselves about our personal space. This space in turn brings up such questions as to what do we like, what do we need, and want from a relationship and life in general. 

While situations are many, there are two reasons why couples are in a long-distance relationship: They are starting a new long-distance relationship; or An existing couple encounters the long-distance and has to be apart for a little while.

A lot of advice is for people who are bored or frustrated in their long-distance relationship. Today, I would like to shine some light on long-distance relationships. If you are starting a long-distance relationship, you’ll know what to expect and how to prepare for it. If you are in an existing relationship and having to do long-distance, you can change your perspective and the way how you manage it.

In truth, the long-distance relationship is not much different from a relationship of people living together. Long-distance relationships bring out the problems that you might already have in your relationship. For example, in a regular relationship, you can respond with a hug without saying anything. You can’t do that in a long-distance relationship, because you can only communicate through words. And what you don’t say, will go unnoticed.

Your long-distance relationship can be amazing.

A long-distance relationship can be: Thrilling, Exciting, Satisfying, Engaging, Intriguing, Seducing You can see a long-distance relationship, almost like a holiday. If you want to have fun, a long-distance relationship might just be for you. You can try some things to make your long-distance relationship more exciting and more fun.  We’ll see that long-distance relationships are meant to be full of fun and possibilities.


What is a long-distance relationship?

To define a long-distance relationship, we should understand what it is, what it isn’t, and how it works. A long-distance relationship is a period in a relationship where a couple is separated by the geographical distance. It may be the case when starting a relationship online. The distance may come to couples who are already in a relationship but have to live separately for some time due to going to college or because of relocation for a job.

A long-distance relationship is a temporary stage in a relationship and isn’t meant to be long-term.

Couples believe that long-distance relationships have to be hard. There’s a lot of drama around couples who are separated by the distance. And much information out there is about tips on how you can survive your long-distance relationship.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, I would like to show you another way to look at it. Long-distance relationships can be hard, and they can be challenging. But you can avoid many problems that cause so much pain and distress by understanding what long-distance relationships are and what they aren’t.

Once you know what they are, you’ll know how to handle them better. If you understand what they are not, you can avoid the pain of unfulfilled expectations.


Can distance affect a relationship?

Now, it’s easier than ever to stay connected over long distances across the world. In a long-distance relationship, you need to get clear on how the distance affects you and your relationship.

While there are things you can do to spice up your long-distance relationship, none of them replace physical touch. They challenge your emotional connection and communication skills. If you want to have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to adapt.


Is space good for a relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, everyone has their personal space for themselves. If you are together all the time, at some point, you would want and need some personal space. On one hand, you have all your space to yourself to do with as you please.

We like to have our personal space the way we want it. When the other person makes changes in our space (e.g. by leaving their socks on the floor), it can be perceived as a threat to our safety, which would prompt an emotional response.

If you need some time and space for yourself, have a temporary break from your relationship.


Is distance a problem in relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, you may want to blame the distance for all your problems.

In a regular relationship problems can come from the need for personal space. In a long-distance relationship, you avoid the problems that you’d have living together. Distance can lead to other problems. But when you move in together, proximity can also create problems, just different ones. Sharing your space with another person also has its challenges.

In a long-distance relationship, you are physically apart, so in a way you are physically single. The problems arise when couples approach a long-distance relationship as they would a normal relationship.

Two aspects create the most problems in a long-distance relationship: Lack of physical intimacy and different way of communication.

How to tell if it’s the distance that is a problem or is it your relationship?

A long-distance relationship becomes a problem when you can’t see each other as often as you’d like. It comes down to having the time and money to cross the distance. Now let’s take a look at common problems couples face in a long-distance relationship. While the distance can complicate your relationship, the problem may be caused by the difference in your personalities. Knowing what a long-distance relationship is and what it’s not, can help you resolve many problems.


Can distance kill a relationship?

Emotional distance is the one that can kill a relationship. Today’s technology makes it very easy for us to keep in touch. We can send a message in an instant and cross the globe in a day. However, when it comes to maintaining an emotional connection, most of us are left feeling powerless in the dark world of confusion. It is much simpler to navigate the outside world than it is to explore our inner-selves.

Distance does not kill the relationship, but compromise does. 

You feel like doing something, but your partner wants you to do something else. What to do? Do you go along with your partner’s wishes, walking away from what you want, or do you tell them that what you want is more important? Both of these have destructive consequences. Luckily there is another option. 

This option, however, requires a few things:

  • Trust that both of you will be honest with each other
  • Staying true to your values and respecting things that are important to your partner
  • Understanding that allows you to see from each other’s perspectives
  • Clarity about yours and your partner’s needs
  • Cooperation to find the way where both needs can be met.

It may be exciting and fun or you might be struggling and waiting for the distance to disappear. In a long-distance relationship, it’s easy to blame the distance when things aren’t going well. You may want to blame the distance for all that is wrong in your relationship. But it’s not always so.

While distance can complicate your relationship, some problems might be related to the relationship itself.

A lot of couples see their long-distance relationship as a burden. All things considered, distance does not kill a relationship, but it challenges it. The physical distance will challenge your emotional connection. The distance can complicate things and strain your relationship. Doubts are also common in a long-distance relationship. So reassurance is more important than ever.

Many couples see the distance as an inconvenience. Long-distance relationships have a lot of struggles and suffering associated with them. But, distance does not control your relationship, you do.

The build-up of sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship can be overwhelming. Whether you are beginning a long-distance relationship or are a part of one due to circumstances, remember to make sexual arrangements. Just because it’s a long-distance relationship, couples think that patiently suffering is normal. You don’t need to suffer the distance while wishing to be together.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, you have probably realised that it can take its toll on your relationship. And it can even strain it to the breaking point. A lot of people live an illusion of seeing long distance in a relationship as a burden.

Stop wasting your time suffering in your long-distance relationship. Fix it, or let go.

It all starts when misunderstanding creates a distance between the partners, they move apart, and now the blanket is just not big enough for both of you. Just like that, comes a fight. A long-distance relationship can get emotionally overwhelming. In a long-distance relationship, you do not have the luxury of reassuring your partner with a touch and a hug.


Frequently Asked Questions

Can you fall in love long-distance?

When you meet someone online, you create an idea of that person. You can then get to know them better and get a better idea of who they are. But until you meet in real life, this person will remain an idea.

Can distance separate true love?

True love is when partners are connected physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When your relationship is healthy and your bond is strong, you will find a way to make your long-distance relationship work.

Can distance increase love?

Distance affects couples in different ways. Some get obsessed about not being able to have sex and others enjoy having more time for themselves. In regular relationships, it’s easy to take each other for granted. In this case, distance can help you appreciate each other and can indeed increase your love for each other.

Can distance ruin relationships?

Distance doesn’t ruin a relationship. But it does affect it in many ways. It’s how you handle being in a long-distance relationship that can either ruin it or make it work. If you understand how the distance affects your relationship, you can learn to adapt.

Is distance a reason to break up?

Distance is never a reason to break up. If you are facing a long-distance relationship, you should understand what it is and what it isn’t. Then you should discuss it together with your partner and decide if you are willing to try and make it work. You can break up anytime, so why make rushed decisions?

Is distance a problem in a relationship?

Distance isn’t a problem. But it changes your relationship in ways that can lead to problems. You can, however, anticipate some problems and learn to resolve others. Distance doesn’t bring problems in an otherwise perfect relationship. In a long-distance relationship, you just have different problems than in a regular one.

Does space mean to break up?

Everyone needs personal space. When couples live together, they rarely have alone time to be with their thoughts and feelings. A long-distance relationship allows partners to reflect on their personal life. It’s also a chance to look at your relationship from a different perspective, which can show you things about your relationship that you may not have seen before.

Does distance make the heart grow fonder?

If you are with somebody all day every day, then a week apart can be a welcome change. But if you are seeing each other only on the weekends, and skipping a weekend can seem like forever. It depends on how you are feeling about your personal space. Sometimes we want to share, and sometimes we want to be alone. Some times when we want to share but are alone is when it is worth taking some time out to reassess your situation. Other times, we may want to be alone, but circumstances make it difficult.

Can distance kill a relationship?

Emotional distance is the one that can kill a relationship. Today’s technology makes it very easy for us to keep in touch. We can send a message in an instant and cross the globe in a day. However, when it comes to maintaining an emotional connection, most of us are left feeling powerless in the dark world of confusion. It is much simpler to navigate the outside world than it is to explore our inner-selves.


Conclusion

I believe that long-distance relationships are greatly misunderstood.

A long-distance allows the time and the space to focus on your life and on what’s important to you. You may also find that distance will give you a fresh perspective on your relationship. The best thing people in a long-distance relationship can do is focus on something they have and can do, rather than something they can’t. In a long-distance relationship, you have more time alone with your thoughts. Once you look at your long-distance relationship from a positive perspective, you can have fun with it.

Much that is true for a normal relationship, is also true for the long-distance relationship.

If you are struggling with your long-distance relationship, here are 3 steps to get you back on track:

  • Make a list of concerns you have about your relationship and the long-distance
  • Make a note about their concerns about your relationship and the long-distance.
  • Separate the relationship problems from long-distance problems.
  • Make a plan of what you want in a long-distance relationship.

One of your objectives may be the amount of time you want to be in a long-distance relationship before you would want to move in together.

Communication in a long-distance relationship differs from when you are next to each other. Visits in a long-distance relationship are a luxury. A long-distance is about how often you can see your partner, rather than the distance itself. If you and your partner are comfortable in a long-distance relationship, then great. But if not, fix what isn’t working or let it go.

If you don’t understand what a long-distance relationship is and prepare for it, your relationship will be fragile and may not survive the long distance. The distance, is just that, a distance. Recognising how the distance affects your relationship can help you prepare for it and may just save your relationship. In a long-distance relationship, physical closeness is limited or absent, so you should talk about how long it will last.

You may also find yourself in a long-distance relationship due to some circumstances. Long-distance relationships aren’t for everyone. Are they for you?

Figure out what to expect to form a long-distance relationship, so you can decide if it’s right for you and for what you need. While a long-distance relationship has a lot of benefits, it’s not for everyone. But first, let’s have a look at some benefits and disadvantages of long-distance relationships. Long-distance relationships can be tricky and might not be for everyone.


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Alex Larryngton

Hi, I’m Alex:) As a Relationship Coach, I am someone you come to when you feel stuck in a relationship and want to find a way out.

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