Relationship Coaching


Relationship Coaching

Today, we’ll take a moment to shed some light on what is relationship coaching, what can you expect from coaching short and long term. We’ll have a look at similar modalities and explore what makes them different. So, if you would like to know how can coaching help you as an individual or as a couple and how to choose the right coach for you, then read on…


What Is Relationship Coaching

Coaching is a proactive approach to get down to the origin of your issues. You start by making small changes in your everyday life. These small changes will have a big impact on the dynamic of your interactions for the better.

It’s a goal oriented process that gives you tools and strategies to deal with different issues in your relationship, so you can create healthy and loving relationships. With this knowledge you will become capable of implementing new ways of thinking and behaving and in turn will be more mindful about yourself and the world around you.

Coaching helps you make practical changes in your life by giving you tools that bring awareness to your behaviours, patterns, and communication so that you get the right tools to change your life. On the way, you will learn to understand how your behaviour affects you and others around you and how you can do things differently.

Coaching will show you the way you are interacting with your partner and with others. You will see by yourself if this way of interaction is giving you what you need and desire or if bringing you heartache and leaving you feel powerless. 

Coaching is focused on your needs, it intends to get your needs met and that of your partner, individually and together. 

At Couples Coaching Online, our main focus is to help you create a meaningful connection with yourself and with your partner, and to achieve your relationship goals through understanding and effective communication.

We see each client as an individual with all the potential of a human being. Focuses on actions and the future aimed, solving problems along the way and working with the conscious mind.

Relationship coaching works great for couples and individuals.

Couples Coaching

Relationship coaching can help couples address different issues that they are struggling to resolve by themselves. It’s easy to get caught up in a situation, you may not see the other’s point of view when you are experiencing emotional turmoil.

This is where an impartial and unbiased input from a professional coach can make a world of difference to get. You out of this stagnation and get you moving in the right direction. 

Individual Coaching

Individual coaching can help single people understand themselves and the type of relationship they’d like to have. It can also help those in a relationship to get a fresh perspective on their relationship and reflect in their life goals. 

Way too often, individuals find themselves in an unhealthy relationship struggling to break from their established patterns. The danger of such predicament lies in the negativity that spells from being in a toxic relationship to all aspects of one’s life. 

One of the first questions we try to answer with our coaching clients is if it’s worth staying in such relationship and if there’s anything they can change about it. Assessing if there’s anything else they can do to improve their relationship and if it’s worth them staying in such relationship. 

Relationship Coaching Tools, Techniques and Skills

  • Articles & Quizzes – freely available on our website.
  • Workbooks – focus on a particular area of a relationship, you can find them available on our website for a small fee.
  • Holistic approach to relationship coaching – described below.
  • Online coaching – help via video calls for couples and individuals.

Relationship Coaching vs Counselling vs Therapy

We’ll use external sources for the information below, so feel free to explore them further by clicking the reference links.

If it get’s too much, feel free to skip to the next section to learn more about coaching:)

These three modalities tend to overlap in people’s understanding. So when you want to get help, it may be confusing who to turn to for help with your particular questions, problems, and concerns.

Keep in mind that your experience is more likely to depend on the person who is helping you, rather than the modality per se. Due to the nature of all of them, you can expect help through guidance and advice towards resolution and understanding.

We will touch on how you can chose the right person for you in a moment. First, let’s have a quick look at different expectations you should have for each of these modalities.

Relationship Coaching

An individual or a couple that comes to coaching is seen as a whole human being with all their potential to be healthy, happy, empowered and able to achieve their goals. 

Coaching provides with guidance, information and effective support. 

Focuses towards the future based on your values, beliefs and desires. 

Identifies old and unhealthy patterns of behaviour to help you overcome barriers and obstacles that are keeping you from feeling connected. 

You can make changes in small steps in a day to day basis which will give you a grounded foundation to establish new patterns.

Relationship Counselling

Some information is from counselling.org 

According to the “American Counselling Association in the 20/20: A Vision for the Future of Counselling, the delegates comprised of 31 counselling organisations agreed upon a unified definition of counselling:

Professional counselling is a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families, and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education, and career goals.”

Relationship counselling is a form of ‘talk therapy’ which tends to offer advice and guidance in a confidential and non-judgmental manner. According to psychology.org, counsellors don’t need as many qualifications as a therapist, who is expected to have at least a master’s degree. 

A client will share their views, be heard and gain new perspectives on their situation and experiences. 

Counselling can help people to gain clarity surrounding issues. Together with their counsellor people identify and work towards achieving the desired outcomes and goals for counselling.

According to the The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy bacp.co.uk

“A counsellor will not give you their opinions or advice or prescribe medication. They will help you find your own solutions – whether that’s making effective changes in your life or finding ways of coping with your problems”.

Couples Counselling

couples counselling can help give you the tools to better communicate, and resolve conflict as we strive to create an environment where you feel safe to express yourselves to one another. 

You don’t have to continue with a therapist if you can’t relate to them or don’t feel safe.

Relationship Therapy

Therapy is based on Psychology. It is a profession where a trained and licensed therapist diagnoses and treats mental, emotional and psychological disorders. 

Coaching can be a compliment for therapy to direct towards personal growth.

Relationship therapy is a long-term process that involves looking into each partner’s history, communication and behaviour patterns. You explore what happened in your past to see how it’s impacting you, so that you realise how your past relationships and traumas have shaped the way you are. 

A therapist is completely neutral and reserved from advising or encouraging towards something specific. A therapist is there to hear you out and guide you to your past to uncover what is holding you back. 

Therapy has a healing approach where the client has a psychological disorder. The aim is to achieve self-understanding and emotional healing. Explores the past and the root of a person’s problems now with the aim of bringing awareness to the causes of their problems. 

It works for the internal resolution of pain and letting go of old patterns and it’s a lengthy process that can take years. 

During a session, your therapist may take you through specific exercises designed to help with your problem, or you might have more general discussions about how you’re feeling. What you talk about will vary depend on what you want help with and the therapist’s approach. 

Most therapy will be practiced in a clinical setting, with the therapist remaining unbiased and detached from the outcome of the sessions. They may recommend techniques for problem solving with clients, but will not advise them about decision-making processes or give them solutions.

A good therapist will listen and question the client about their views on situations and assist them in gaining access to their own feelings about those situations. They may guide the client toward finding their own answers but will not provide advice.

Therapists use a specific theoretical orientation to guide their practice, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, which allows clients to take their negative thoughts and replace them with positivity. Other commonly used clinical models include psychodynamic, attachment theory, family systems, and IFS.

Psychologists possess the highest level of education, and only see specific cases in their field of expertise. These professionals may also adopt a specific theoretical orientation such as cognitive behavioural therapy or psychoanalysis to treat their patients.

According to The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy:

“Counselling and psychotherapy are umbrella terms that cover a range of talking therapies. Counsellors and psychotherapists are trained professionals who will work with you over a period of time to help you develop a better understanding of yourself and of others.

Therapists are impartial. They will listen to you without judgement and work with your emotions without becoming emotional themselves. They won’t tell you what to do but will help you find your own solutions – whether for making effective changes or for learning how to cope.

There are several different types of therapy and therapist. It’s important to find a therapist and a way of working you’re comfortable with so you can feel at ease discussing personal and emotional issues.”

Types of therapist

According to The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy: bacp.co.uk

Psychiatrist

Psychiatrists are trained and qualified doctors who can diagnose mental health

problems and, if appropriate, prescribe drugs to help ease the symptoms. Usually they work in or are attached to a hospital. You would usually see a psychiatrist on an irregular basis, perhaps monthly to six weekly.

Clinical psychologist

Psychologists are trained in behavioural sciences. They can help explore unwanted behaviours and explain how these can be changed. They usually work in hospitals or NHS clinics and clients are referred to them by a psychiatrist or GP. Psychologist appointments can vary from once a week to once a month or so.

Psychoanalysts

Psychoanalysts are trained to help clients explore and analyse their own unconscious defences and internal conflicts. Once they understand these, it’s easier to change unwanted behaviours or develop more useful ones. You would usually meet with an analyst two or three times a week for a long period, perhaps several years.


Holistic Approach to Relationship Coaching 

A holistic approach addresses all aspects of one life. A healthy relationship is the one that contributes to your well-being. Your well-being in turn includes all aspects of your life. 

Therefore when you create a relationship you need to consider these aspects and how a particular person is going to contribute to each area of your life. From your hobbies and interests to your goals and ambitions. 

It is equally valuable to consider how you are going to contribute to the well-being of your potential partner. 

Throughout our coaching sessions we’ll explore all aspects of your life, and your partner’s life, if you have one, to see which ones match and which ones don’t. 

We live in a society where the idea of ‘feelings’ seems alien to most people. Even though it is through feelings, we experience life. Stress is part of everyday life for most people. Arguments have become a norm and getting help remains a luxury.

At Couples Coaching Online, we believe relationships are to enjoy, and help is to be available to everyone. Our mission is to bring harmony to each person and their relationship. Happy parents = happy children = brighter future for everyone. Life’s stresses can take a toll on us, and it is the people closest to us that pay the price.

Couples Coaching Online brings harmony to people who need it the most. In a long-distance relationship, you are already talking to your partner online.

Use this approach to solve the problems as they arise. 


Relationship Coaching Online

Online coaching is an easy and convenient way to get help with issues that hold you back in life. 

Coaching clients come to us with a number of different problems that range from something trivial to deeper problems picked up from the past that are negatively affecting their current lives and their relationships. 

Online coaching has its limitations. While having face to face coaching is great is major limitation is proximity to the coach. Online coaching allows each person the flexibility of choosing the right coach for them regardless of where they are. 

This brings the focus on the coaching itself rather than the convenience. 

Benefits of Online Coaching

  • You can have coaching wherever you are.
  • You save travelling time to see your coach.
  • You can get connected to your coach at a click of a button.
  • Coaching fees can be less as there’s no need for physical premises.
  • You can have coaching from the comfort of your home rather than being in an unfamiliar environment. 
  • Tends to be more relaxed which is great to discuss sensitive topics.
  • It can be more private as your coach may not even live in the same city as you. 
  • Although you don’t get the same sense of connection when having a person in front of you, this can actually put you at ease and help you feel safe and comfortable to open up and share your troubles.
  • Online coaching is great for online relationships. The pressure of long-distance relationships is one of the reasons that people come for relationship coaching.

Disadvantages of Online Coaching

  • You will need to have a private and quiet place where you feel comfortable to discuss sensitive topics.
  • You may not feel the same sense of connection with an online coach that with a face to face coach, much like in a long-distance relationship. This may work for some people, but not for others.

Relationship Coaching for Couples

Normally one of the partner’s is the one seeking help with their relationship. One of the first questions we ask is if their partner is willing to work with them in the resolution of the issue.

Provided both partners are willing to put the time and effort to improve their relationship, online coaching is the perfect way to have a video call. This is particularly helpful for couples in an LDR or for couples who find themselves physically apart for some reason. 

When it comes to coaching couples, we remain impartial, unbiased and open to fully understand the point of view of each partner. We achieve this by having individual sessions with each partner before bringing them together.

This allows us to recognise the feelings and needs as well as thoughts and doubts of each person so that we can find the most amicable solution that works for everyone’s needs. 

Through this process each partner can be heard and understood as well as understand each other’s point of view, which is where couples who have a disagreement find it difficult to find a solution by themselves.

This is where coaching helps to break the cycle of defensive behaviour and unwillingness to hear each other. 


Relationship Coaching for Singles

When considering having a relationship, the first step is to explore yourselves and learn as much as you can about your feelings, needs, goals and various patterns of behaviour (e. g. Why do you do what yo do?).

This self-exploration includes your history, previous relationships, as well as your emotional state and current circumstances. 

Your second step would be to reflect on why do you want a relationship? Who would be your perfect partner? And, How will a partner fulfil your needs and contribute to your well-being?


Relationship Coaching Benefits

  • Change habitual patterns (feelings, thoughts, expectations and desires).
  • Shift your thinking to support your relationship. 
  • Feel empower and secure.
  • Revive passion in your relationship and emotional intimacy. 
  • Learn how to communicate effectively. 
  • Get clarity on what you really want from your life and your relationship
  • Trust yourself and others.
  • Feel connected, seen, heard and valued in your relationships. 
  • Learn relationship building tools.
  • Learn relationship self expression and exploration tools.
  • Understand your patterns of behaviour.
  • Learn to hear the other person.
  • Manage conflicts.
  • Find resolutions to specific issues.
  • Bring awareness to your communication style.
  • Identify underlying unhealthy patterns.
  • Create a safe environment to connect and communicate with your partner.
  • Bring awareness to the way you and your partner experience your relationship.
  • Focus in the now to bring healing to past issues that no longer have power over you.
  • Learn tools to identify conflict.
  • Give you support during the process.
  • Identify your personal and relationship goals to create a loving and harmonious relationship. 
  • Bring awareness to your relationship’s dynamics.
  • Break down barriers preventing you to connect with your partner.
  • Give you tools to create connection in your relationships. 
  • Shifting beliefs around self-worth and deserving. 
  • Setting realistic goals and expectations.
  • Feeling heard and connected. 
  • Being more decisive.
  • Unveiling your true self.

Is Relationship Coaching for You?

Relationship coaching is for couples and individuals that want to improve an area in their relationship focusing on solving the problems they are having by consciously choosing to change. It works well to bring external solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills and implement effective choices. 

Coaching aims to transform a person’s internal story, by shifting small and every day toxic behaviours to the ones that will lead to more loving and caring relationships. 

Coaching is a safe, non-judgemental support that shows you the way you perceive things around you. Relationship coaching helps you to see how you see the world and how your partner is affected by you and how they affect you. 

Coaching will help you to feel connected and fulfilled in your current relationship or to prepare you for future relationships. 

How to Know if Relationship Coaching Is for You?

You know relationship coaching is for you if:

  1. You have the drive and desire to improve, strengthen and heal your emotional connection and achieve lasting results.
  2. You are ready to put in the time and effort to look inside and implement new understanding into your life.
  3. You will dig deep and look beyond your limitations to achieve your goals, dreams, and desires. 

Consider relationship coaching if you can relate to any of the following

  • Do you feel lost or stuck?
  • Do you have destructive habits?
  • Do you struggle making decisions?
  • Are you at a cross roads facing a major decision in your life?
  • Are you a people pleaser?
  • Do you find difficult to establish boundaries in your relationships?
  • You cannot commit to things that are important in your life
  • Do you have trouble connecting to others?
  • Do you feel like walking on eggshells in your relationship?
  • Do you feel your partner doesn’t listen to you?
  • Have you lost the spark in your relationship?
  • Do you feel you or your partner are emotionally closed?
  • Are you or your partner constantly feeling angry or frustrated with each other?
  • Are you struggling to move on from a betrayal of trust?
  • Are you compromising yourself and your well-being because of your relationship, or your children?
  • Have you lost the connection with your partner that you feel like roommates?
  • Are you having constant fights and arguments?

Disclaimer

Relationship coaching may not be right for you, if:

  • You have thoughts of hurting myself or others.
  • You are in a relationship with domestic violence.
  • You or your partner have an addiction such as alcohol abuse or drugs.
  • You or your partner have a mental health diagnosis. 

If you or your partner can relate to any of the above in any way, it may be best to consult your doctor as soon as possible before anything else.


What Can You Expect from Relationship Coaching?

  • A safe and non-judgemental opinion. 
  • Guidance on how to change your habitual patterns. 
  • Learn an effective way to communicate lovingly and compassionately. 
  • Receive tools to apply to your relationship.
  • Relationship building.
  • Support to help you achieve your goals.

A relationship coach can help you to feel heard and understood, without compromising or sacrificing your own needs, goals and desires. 

A relationship coach will help you take your relationship from just ok to great. 

Coaching is not a quick fix to unresolved problems, you will have to do a lot of work to make it happen. 

Your coach won’t take sides or tell you what to do, they’ll simply try to help you come up with a way that works for you and your partner. 


How Can Relationship Coaching Help You?

  1. Subscribe to our Newsletter
    Receive Tips & Advice on how you can improve your relationship.
  2. Read our Blog
    Learn all there is to know about relationships and how to make them work. Here you can find helpful articles for every aspect of your relationship.
  3. Buy a Workbook
    Check out our selection and choose the most relevant workbook for your relationship.
  4. If you help right now…
    If you have a burning issue…
    If you are facing an important decision…
    If you are lost and unsure about your relationship…
    Book a Coaching Session

Conclusion

We live in a society where the idea of ‘feelings’ seems alien to most people. Even though it is through feelings, we experience life. Stress is part of everyday life for most people. Arguments have become a norm and getting help remains a luxury.

In an ideal world you’d know exactly what you want from your life and your partner, would be able to find the perfect person online and after getting to know each other online and through visits would move in together and live happily ever after.


FAQ’s

How can couples coaching help me?

Sometimes when we have strong feelings about something, our emotions take over. During these times everyone wants to be heard and it is very hard to find it in ourselves the strength to listen. Couples usually know what they want but find it difficult to express it in the way that their partner understands. A coach can help you see past the emotional turbulence to find what really matters.

Is Relationship Coaching Worth It?

Coaching is a life changing experience, it will show you how to have more control over yourself and give you guidance on how to create a healthy relationship. But only you can decide what this is worth for you. 

What is the difference between coaching and counselling?

Coaching is generally goal oriented while counselling is more about listening. In reality both listening and goal orientation are essential if you are to make any significant progress and implement a meaningful change.

Does relationship coaching work?

Coaching works if you choose the right coach to help you and you are willing to invest your time, money and effort towards changing your life and creating healthy relationships. 

How do you coach couples?

We coach couples by having individual sessions with each partner to understand their points of view separately. Then, we have a joint session altogether where we bring up feelings and needs of each person and agree on the way forward that works for everyone involved. 

What does a relationship coach do?

First of all, a relationship coach will hear you out, and understand your current feelings and circumstances. Then, the coach will help you see things more clearly so that you can make more educated decisions about your choices and your behaviour towards yourself and those around you. 

How do couples do long distance coaching?

Online coaching is a perfect way to get help for your long-distance relationship. During the sessions you and your partner will be able to express your thoughts, doubts, concerns, feelings and needs in a loving way that you learn during your sessions one-to-one. Relationship coaching can help you get clearer on whether or not you can find a way to make this relationship work. 

What Does a Relationship Coach Do?

A relationship coach is like a personal trainer for the mind and soul. A relationship coach can help you to clear your mind, figure out your goals and motivate you to achieve them.  So, that at the end of coaching you are a better, higher performing person in all your relationships, either romantic or professional. 

Why should you try relationship coaching?

Relationship coaching can help you shine some light on the areas of your life and your relationship that slipped pass your attention, yet they are the main drivers for your decision making and are responsible for your habitual patterns of behaviour. If you put the effort and persevere relationship coaching can change your life and your relationships for the better.

Alex Barinov

Hi, I’m Alex:) I am a relationship coach. My passions include understanding life, relationships and human behaviour. As a coach, I help couples resolve their conflicts and create a harmonious and loving relationship.

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