Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But how do you build and maintain trust in a long-distance relationship?
To have trust in a long-distance relationship, first, you need to build a strong and healthy relationship. If you want your relationship to work, you must trust your long-distance partner. Without trust, your doubts and insecurities can grow into an issue and destroy your long-distance relationship.
In a long-distance relationship, when you don’t see your partner for weeks at a time, it can be hard to maintain an emotional connection. Without seeing each other, it can also be hard to maintain trust.
Here we’ll explore the role trust have in a long-distance relationship. We’ll talk about what you can do to build and maintain trust, even when you don’t see each other often.
Do You Trust in a Long-Distance Relationship?
Trust is necessary if you want to make your long-distance relationship work. Without trust, your doubts and insecurities will grow slowly and destroy your long-distance relationship.
To know whether you have trust in a long-distance relationship, first of all, you have to trust yourself. To trust yourself, you need to be honest with yourself. For example, when you ask yourself, why are you in this long-distance relationship, take some time to understand your reasons.
Your reasons could be that you want to have this person in your life. Maybe you are getting on well together, and you share common interests. But there are also other reasons why people stay in a long-distance relationship.
Many couples struggle to maintain a long-distance relationship. Yet, they do everything they can to make it work. Most of the time, they spend a lot of effort to keep their long-distance relationship going for as long as they can. And on many occasions, all it brings is suffering.
The reason why people may stay in a long-distance relationship despite suffering is that they are committed to a relationship, afraid to be alone, or scared to break up.
So, you should be honest with yourself and know your reasons for being in this long-distance relationship. You can assess if you are happy and if it’s worth it for you.
A relationship involves two people. So your partner has to be honest with themselves as well. They should also take time to understand the real reason why they are in this long-distance relation relationship with you.
As long as two of you can be honest with each other, you can face any issues together. You can use effective communication to share your feelings and needs as you go through your long-distance relationship.
The fact is that your feelings change all the time. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, away from your romantic partner, you will have a lack of physical intimacy in your life. This lack of physical intimacy can leave you feeling sexually frustrated.
Sooner or later, you will have to satisfy your physical need. It may not be possible to meet your sexual needs with your long-distance partner. If this is the case, one option to consider is to have an open long-distance relationship, and another is to find someone else to have sex with.
You should tell your long-distance partner if you feel unhappy in your long-distance relationship and the reason for it. For example, the lack of physical intimacy can leave you sexually frustrated. Before acting on it, and maybe cheat on your long-distance partner. First, try talking to your partner about your physical needs.
Some people may decide that it’s too hard to say these things to their long-distance partners. They keep their feelings to themselves and when they can’t bear it any more; they go and sleep with someone else without telling their long-distance partner about it.
When it comes to cheating, two things are separate from each other. One is trust, and another is the fulfilment of your sexual needs.
If you trust each other in the long-distance relationship, you can talk about things before they become problems.
Can You Trust in a Long-Distance Relationship?
It can be hard to trust your partner when you are in a long-distance relationship. In a regular relationship, you see each other every day, and you are familiar with the behaviour of your partner. So, if something changes, you feel it.
In a long-distance relationship, you don’t get to be with your partner, sometimes for weeks. In that time if you don’t trust your partner a hundred per cent, you will inevitably start having doubts.
The distrust begins when you want to know what your long-distance partner is doing all the time, where they are, and with whom they are.
If you notice such behaviour stop, it’s a sign of distrust. The best thing you can do is to talk to your partner, express your concerns, and take it from there.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship and you’ve never met the person you’re talking to, you shouldn’t trust them. Until you meet the person in real life, they are more of an idea created in your mind based on the information they provide. Without being next to them, it’s tough to decide whether the person is honest or not.
When you meet each other in real life, you get a certain feeling they can help you decide whether you should trust that person or not.
Should I Trust My Long-Distance Partner?
If you’re starting a new long-distance relationship, you shouldn’t trust your long-distance partner until you meet them in real life.
Suppose long-distance comes to you while you are in an existing relationship. In that case, your trust depends on how much you trusted each other before you had to be apart.
Sometimes couples think that they trust each other, but when they start a long-distance relationship, they realise that they don’t trust each other as much as they thought they did.
The bottom line is that you should trust each other, as long as you are completely honest with each other. If you are not sharing your thoughts and feelings and intentions for one reason or the other, it can become an issue.
How Do I Trust My Long-Distance Partner?
When you trust your long-distance partner, you’re taking the chance, assuming that they are honest with you.
When it comes to trust and honesty, there is something you should understand. Your long-distance partner may be honest with you as much as they are honest with themselves.
In other words, if they are lying to themselves for some reason, they will inevitably be lying to you as well. They may believe that they are honest with you, But in fact, they would be lying to you.
In another situation, your partner may tell you a lie with complete awareness.
Trust is an internal phenomenon. Your trust that you may or may not have for your long-distance partner is your decision to assume that they are telling the truth.
In other words, they may be completely open and honest with you, but you still may distrust them. It can also be the other way around, they could be lying to you but you are trusting them.
Trust in someway is a little bit like faith; you just do it. But if you find out that your partner is lying to you, then the trust breaks.
One thing you can do to trust your long-distance partner is to welcome any time they try to express their feelings, thoughts and opinions. If they’re comfortable sharing anything with you, they are more likely to tell you the truth.
Suppose your long-distance partner feels afraid that you will judge them or respond negatively to what they’re saying. In that case, they will likely be reluctant to share their feelings and thoughts with you.
How to Build Trust in a Long-Distance Relationship?
Trust in a long-distance relationship is something that you’ve built over time. The very first step is to get to know each other. Get to know each other’s values beliefs, and interests.
If both, you and your long-distance partner get along well together and enjoy each other’s company, there is no reason why you can’t build trust. However, you need to be ok with their past, everybody has baggage from previous relationships.
Some aspects of your or your partner’s history may be very personal and can be very hard to share. One thing you can do is tell each other that there are things that you would prefer not to discuss.
Having trust is about being honest. But you may still choose whether or not you want to share certain things. And in all fairness, not everything comes up. Not telling something is different from telling a lie.
But, the trust in the long-distance relationship is about being free to express your feelings and intentions to each other without the fear of negative response or judgement.
Many trust issues come as a result of bad communication. Whether your trust issues and doubts have merit or not, first thing to do is to talk about them with your partner. So, before making any rush decisions regarding your relationship, give this workbook a go:
How to Rebuild Trust in a Long-Distance Relationship?
Once the trust in a long-distance relationship is broken, it’s hard to rebuild it. Trust is an assumption that your long-distance partner is telling the truth. If you find out they are lying, you will never be able to give them 100% of your belief that they are telling the truth.
If you cannot trust your long-distance partner a hundred per cent, it doesn’t mean you cannot have a relationship. Maybe you and your long-distance partner are ok to have a relationship where you lie to each other. It may not be a healthy relationship, but perhaps you can be ok with it.
Knowing that you lied to each other is already a particular form of trust. You know that you can trust each other with some things and you can’t trust each other with other things.
And if this relationship works for you and brings you joy fulfilment and happiness, then who is to say whether it’s right or wrong.
Mutual lying can be a form of trust or a kind of distrust. If you know that you’re lying and that your long-distance partner is also lying to you, you can be sure that there is no trust between you.
While this can work for your long-distance relationship, there might be underlying issues why such behaviour is acceptable to you.
Trust Issues in Long-Distance Relationships
Trust in a long-distance relationship becomes an issue when you are constantly preoccupied about what your partner is up to.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, both you and your long-distance partner have a lot of time to spend on your own lives. A long-distance relationship is your opportunity to catch up with your personal life, goals and spend time doing things that you enjoy.
In a long-distance relationship, you will be doing a lot of things, and you may not share all of them with your long-distance partner.
Your partner, in turn, may not be willing or even remembered to share everything that happened with you. And that’s okay this is normal for each person in the relationship to have their own lives.
Trust issues become a problem when either you or your long-distance partner don’t feel like you are free to express openly with one another. This distrust can breed other negative emotions like anger, frustration and sadness. These emotions will in turn destroy your long-distance relationship.
How Do You Fix Trust Issues in a Long-Distance Relationship?
If you have identified that you have trust issues in your long-distance relationship, there are ways you can try to fix them.
For example, if you are not trusting your partner, you have to tell them what is bothering you. Remember that your distrust towards them may or may not be based on anything that they do.
But it’s your responsibility to express your doubts to your long-distance partner. In response, they can reassure you that there is no need for you to doubt them or confirm your suspicions.
Whether your long-distance partner is lying to you or you are lying to them isn’t as crucial as your awareness of it. Knowing that you can trust each other will allow you to build a healthy long-distance relationship. Knowing that you can’t trust each other gives you the power to do something about it.
Nobody is perfect, and there are situations when either you or your long-distance partner made a mistake. If you want to fix your trust issues, you should come out clean as soon as possible.
If you told a lie to your long-distance partner and then you told them the truth, then it’s up to them whether they can accept it or not. They may understand you and your reasons for lying. In the end, your long-distance partner may carry on a relationship with you, or they may think that it’s better to end it.
Sometimes it’s better to end your long-distance relationship than having a relationship with lies.
The important thing is whatever happened can become a burden on your long-distance relationship. And the best way to deal with it is, to be honest with each other and see what happens.
Trust is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship. In a long-distance relationship, trust can quickly turn into distrust. A lack of trust may not necessarily be based on the behaviour of your long-distance partner. Distrust can stem from doubts and insecurities.
In a long-distance relationship, you must express your doubts and insecurities to your partner as soon as they arise. Even if they seem small and insignificant, you should share them with your long-distance partner straight away.
Suppose you don’t talk to your long-distance partner about things that bother you. In that case, they can grow into an issue that can make your long-distance relationship a lot harder and less enjoyable. The best way to deal with trust issues is to talk about them openly and honestly with your partner, however awkward or uncomfortable it may be.
How you bring up issues to your long-distance partner is key to having the best chance of working it out. If you need some help and guidance about doing it, feel free to get in touch by answering a few questions here.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do you get over trust issues in a long-distance relationship?
The only way to get over trustees just in a long-distance relationship is, to be honest with each other. It could break your long-distance relationship, or it could make it stronger.
Can trust be rebuilt?
Trust is taking a chance to believe that someone will be a certain way. When this person behaves differently, it will take more to trust them again. So the trust isn’t about rebuilding, it’s about willingness to take a chance.
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