When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship

When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship

When your long-distance isn’t working or you’ve drifted apart, it could be time to let it go.

It’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship when it no longer brings you happiness and fulfilment. Unresolved problems accumulate over time and slowly destroy the loving relationship you once had. If you find yourself in a relationship that doesn’t work, you can try to fix it or let it go.

In this article, we’ll explore the signs to help you decide when it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship. You’ll get an insight into how you see your breakup by identifying with one of the following: calling it quits, giving up, or stopping your long-distance relationship.

How to Know When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship?

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship. When relationships don’t work, they tend to deteriorate over time. One moment you are happy and in love and the next you are in a relationship full of arguments. At this point, you can either try to fix your relationship or let it go and move on. 

But it’s not easy to let go of someone with whom you shared a part of your life. So you may stay together, even when your long-distance relationship doesn’t work.

You might try to make your relationship work even if you are not feeling it any more. Maybe you are afraid of being alone or don’t know how to deal with the void that your partner will leave in your life.

  • If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.
  • If you’ve had enough and just want to break up, there’s a right and the wrong way to do it.

In a nutshell, it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship when it no longer contributes to your life and well-being.

If you are feeling at a crossroads with your relationship, the first step is to figure out what’s wrong! Use this workbook to understand better what is working for you and for your relationship and what isn’t. Once you identify the problems in your relationship, you will be able to find the best way forward.

When to Call it Quits in a Long-Distance Relationship? 

It’s time to call it quits in your long-distance relationship when your relationship is dysfunctional, unsolved problems accumulate, and you feel emotionally overwhelmed. When your long-distance relationship becomes toxic, it’s best to let it go.

If you are thinking of quitting your long-distance relationship, don’t rush into it. Instead, take a week to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings.

Once you’ve reflected on your relationship, talk to your partner. Express your thoughts, doubts, and concerns as clearly and honestly as you can. Give your partner some time to process what you’ve said and hear them out.

When you get everything out in the open, you’ll be able to make a better decision that works for both of you.

Whatever you decide, you will know that you’re not the person who is running away from problems. Instead, you are the one who faces them and learns how to handle the situation the best way you can.

This approach will help you with your future relationships as well as your life in general.

When you become desperate to quit your relationship, all you can think about is to break up and move on. You no longer have the capacity to consider your partner’s feelings. And while understandable, it will leave them feeling hurt and insecure.

Once you are heartbroken, it’s hard to pick yourself up and be ready for a new relationship. Moreover, unless you recognise what went wrong, you are likely to invite similar problems to your next relationship.

Reasons to Call it Quits in Your Long-Distance Relationship

  • You feel emotionally overwhelmed.
  • You no longer enjoy being with your partner or talking to them.
  • You and your partner have different life goals.
  • You don’t see that moving in together is realistic, given your current circumstances.
  • Your long-distance relationship lasted a long time, and you are tired of being apart.

While it’s ok to end a relationship, you should do it the right way.

You started your relationship together, so both of you are responsible for making it work or breaking up.

This article on how to end a long-distance relationship will help you separate with dignity and respect towards yourself and your partner.

When Should You Give Up On a Long-Distance Relationship? 

The idea of giving up implies failure, and no one likes to fail. Giving up on a long-distance relationship suggests walking away from it because you don’t know what else you can do to make it work. 

If you feel like giving up on your long-distance relationship, it could mean one of three things:

  1. You don’t believe you have the power to do something about it.
  2. You aren’t sure how to manage a long-distance relationship.
  3. You don’t know how you can fix the problems that you are experiencing..

It isn’t easy to face the issues in a long-distance relationship. But once you bring yourself to face the problems, there’s a good chance you can work them out. Otherwise, your only option is to break up. 

When you discuss your relationship issues with your partner, you may discover that some of them are easy to fix, provided your partner is willing to work with you.

You may also encounter that some problems depend on the circumstances and are out of your control. In this case, you need to face your reality and find the best way forward that works for both of you. 

When Should You Stop a Long-Distance Relationship? 

You should stop a long-distance relationship when it is no longer working for you, and you can’t find a way to fix it.

Couples in long-distance relationships go through similar problems. Most issues can be sorted with good communication and understanding.

Do you have good communication with your long-distance partner?

As long as you have trust and understanding in your long-distance relationship, you can talk about anything that the distance throws your way. That said, if your communication isn’t great, it will be tough for you to fix the issues that you face.

Every little issue has a chance of growing into a big problem that can eventually ruin it.

When you spend a long time in a long-distance relationship, there’s a possibility that you will drift apart. Your feelings may change, or you may develop feelings for someone else.

In a long-distance relationship, you are away from your partner for long periods. It means that you will have to experience life separately from each other.

As a result, you will have separate experiences that will shape you in different ways. With time, both of you will change and will no longer be the same people you were when you started your long-distance relationship.

In this case, you can talk about your options and reassess your relationship to see whether it’s worth continuing or if it is better to stop it.  

Try to avoid making unilateral decisions as long as you are in a relationship.

Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Over

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when you should let go of your long-distance relationship. The distance brings many uncertainties into a relationship. If you don’t address your doubts, they can become real problems

You can pick up on different signs that can tell you that your relationship might be over:

  • You tried to have a romantic relationship with someone who lives far away, but it didn’t work.
  • You’ve been arguing with your partner more and more.
  • You don’t visit each other frequently, and your sexual frustration is getting more intense.
  • You don’t talk as much as you used to.
  • You make plans to talk to visit each other, but they get cancelled.
  • You no longer talk about your feelings, your relationship, or making plans for the future.
  • Your feelings have changed, and you drifted apart.
  • You developed feelings for someone else.
  • Your doubts are growing about your long-distance relationship, and you don’t have the reassurance that it will work out. 

When Is a Long-Distance Relationship Over? 

You may have doubts as to whether or not your relationship is over. The best thing to do is to talk to your partner about the things that are bothering you.

Knowing what it is really going on will reassure you and help you make a better decision. Doubts can come from uncertainties and insecurities. But they may also develop from your partner’s behaviour or specific circumstances.

Unresolved doubts can leave you feeling stressed and anxious, and you are more likely to make bad decisions. Instead, share your doubts and concerns with your partner and let them help you. 

Talking about your concerns with your partner can help you separate what is really going on from what you think is happening.

Unless you share your feelings and struggles with your partner, they won’t know how to help you.

After discussing your struggles with your partner, you have a better chance of working things out together. Once you considered all aspects of your long-distance relationship, you may decide that it is really over. 

Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner doesn’t guarantee that they will be able to help you. But at least you would’ve done yourself a favour of being honest and open with yourself and your partner.

If you and your partner decide to break up, knowing why your long-distance relationship didn’t work will help you build a healthier relationship next time. 

How to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship? 

Once you get used to having someone in your life, it can be hard to let them go. Some couples choose to stay together even if their long-distance relationship doesn’t work.

An unhealthy relationship brings a lot of suffering.

Some people make a unilateral decision to end a relationship. Then, they inform their partner about this decision. It isn’t a healthy way to break up as it guarantees one of you getting hurt. 

If your relationship doesn’t work, avoid making a unilateral decision to end it. A better way is to share your doubts and concerns with your partner. It will allow your partner to recognise your doubts, address your concerns and help you fix your long-distance relationship.

After talking to your partner, you may discover that the time has come to end your relationship. If that’s the case, it’s perfectly fine to break up if both you and your partner decide that this is what’s best for both of you.

Before talking to your partner, reflect on your feelings, doubts and concerns so that you can share them clearly.

Once you get everything out in the open, you will have a better chance of making your long-distance relationship work, or you’ll be able to end it the right way.

If you decide that it’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship, here’s how you can do it the right way:

  1. Reflect on how you feel about yourself and your relationship.
  2. Identify the main issues in your long-distance relationship.
  3. Share your feelings, doubts and concerns with your partner.
  4. Together with your partner, you can try to fix your relationship, or you may decide to let it go.

If one of you wants to break up and another one doesn’t, ask a relationship coach for advice.


When you’re in a long-distance relationship, problems accumulate slowly over time. Rarely one moment destroys a healthy relationship that is based on trust and effective communication.

If you are attentive to what’s going on in your long-distance relationship, you can pick up when things start to go wrong. The earlier you can identify the problems, the better your chances to fix your long-distance relationship.

When you are struggling in your long-distance relationship, the first thing to do is to discuss these concerns with your partner.

The history you shared and attachment you may have with your partner make it challenging to end your relationship.

But, try to avoid making unilateral decisions. Instead, talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and together you can decide the best way forward for both of you.

If you still have feelings for each other, you can try to work things out. However, if your feelings faded, it’s probably time to move on.


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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my long-distance relationship is over?

Your long-distance relationship is over when your feelings have faded, and this relationship no longer contributes to your life and well-being.

What are the signs my long-distance partner is over me?

Here are clear signs that your long-distance partner is over you:
• They don’t share their feelings with you and don’t ask about how you feel.
• Your partner lost interest in what you do, what you want, and how you feel.
• They don’t make effort to keep in touch and make plans.

When to call off a long-distance relationship?

Calling off a long-distance relationship as a unilateral decision is wrong. It’s an unhealthy way to treat your partner, even though you may have some disagreements. Instead, try working out your differences together and ending the relationship together, if it’ll come to it. You started your relationship together, so it should be a mutual decision to end it.

When to call it quits in a long-distance relationship?

You know it’s time to end your long-distance relationship when you are feeling sad or frustrated more often than not. A relationship should bring love and joy into your life. When it doesn’t, it’s time to fix it or let it go.

When should you give up on a long-distance relationship?

The idea of giving up has a connotation of failure, and nobody likes to fail. So you do your best to make the relationship work even if you are not feeling it any more. If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.

Signs your long-distance relationship is over

• You are no longer interested in having a relationship with your partner.
• Your partner isn’t interested in how you feel and what you want.
• You frequently argue.
• You no longer feel joy and happiness from being in this relationship.

How to know when to let go of a long-distance relationship?

It’s time to let go of your long-distance relationship when you’ve had enough. If you had different issues in your long-distance relationship that you couldn’t resolve, now you may find yourself in a toxic relationship. In this case, letting go of your relationship could be the best thing for you and your partner.

Alex Barinov

Hi, I’m Alex:) I am a relationship coach. My passions include understanding life, relationships and human behaviour. As a coach, I help couples resolve their conflicts and create a harmonious and loving relationship.

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