When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship

When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship

Letting go of a long-distance relationship that doesn’t work is the best thing you can do. But it’s hard to let go of someone with whom you shared a part of your life. 

When your long-distance relationship isn’t working out, it can’t be time to let it go, despite that attachment you may have for your long-distance partner. When you let go of a long-distance relationship, you can still keep in touch with the person if you are getting on well.

When you’re used to having someone in your life, it can be hard to let them go. For some people, even if they’re long-distance relationship isn’t working, they still choose to stay together.

When long-distance relationships don’t work, people still stay together for several reasons. Some are afraid of being alone, while others don’t know how to deal with the void that their partner lives behind.

Today, I’d like to talk about letting go of a long-distance relationship when it is no longer working and doesn’t contribute to your life and well-being in a positive way.

When to call it quits in a long-distance relationship? 

Quitting is like running away. So the question is, why are you running away from your long-distance relationship? is it because it’s not working or because you don’t know how to make it work?

Quitting a relationship implies living your partner behind and not caring about what’s going on with them. But, there’s a healthier way to end the relationship. As you started your long-distance relationship together, both you and your partner are responsible for making it work or ending it.

When you quit the long-distance relationship, you’re also waiting on your partner as well as yourself. How will you feel about yourself as a person knowing that you’ve left behind someone you care about?

If you consider quitting your long-distance relationship, try taking some time away from it to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings. After a week or so get back to your long-distance partner and express your thoughts, doubts, and concerns to them as clearly and honestly as you can.

Whatever happens to this relationship, you will know that you’re not the person who is running away from problems. Rather, you are the one who faces them and learns how to handle the situation in the best way you can. This approach will help you with your future relationship as well as your life in general.

When should you give up on a long-distance relationship? 

The idea of giving up implies failure, and no one likes to fail. It’s like saying: When do you (the person who knows nothing about my situation) think is the best time for me to fail in my relationship?

This question has two aspects: ‘should’ and ‘give up’.

If you ask when you should do something, you will only get an opinion of another person. Sure, general advice can guide you, but the real answers are inside of you.

Giving up in the long-distance relationship means you don’t feel you have a power or know-how to manage it and fix the problems that you’re experiencing.

However, you might be in a relationship with someone you love, and all you have to do is fix a couple of problems. And so, if you are thinking of giving up on your long-distance relationship, don’t. 

Take some time away from it to reassess what is going on in your relationship. Talk to your partner about it and together find a way forward that works for both of you.

Giving up on a long-distance relationship implies walking away from it because you don’t know what else you can do to make it work. One thing you can do is to reflect on your relationship and your feelings about it before sharing them with your partner. If you can find a way to get everything out in the open, you will have a better chance of making your long-distance relationship work or ending it the right way.

Suppose you are asking yourself when should you give up on your relationship. In that case, there is a chance you feel powerless, so you may need reassurance that you can make your relationship work. You might feel overwhelmed and may need some time and space to calm your emotions. You can only make a plan once you know what you need.

For example:

• If you need reassurance, talk to your partner to get clear on the state of your relationship.

If you need some time and space for yourself, have a temporary break from your relationship.

The idea of giving up has a connotation of failure, and nobody likes to fail. So we do our best to make the relationship work even if we are not feeling any more. If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.

When should you stop a long-distance relationship? 

You should stop a long-distance relationship when it is no longer working for you, and you cannot find a way to fix it.

Every relationship has its problems. The question is, do you have good communication and understanding to sort the issues out?

Suppose you have trust and understanding in your long-distance relationship. In that case, you can talk about anything that the distance throws your way. However, if your communication isn’t that great, It will be very hard to fix any issues. And every little thing has a chance of growing into a big problem that can eventually ruin your relationship.

Sometimes, relationships and just because it’s time. In the long-distance relationship, you are away from your partner for long periods. It means that you will have to experience life separately from each other.

Different experiences will shape you in different ways. After enough time, you will be other persons than who you were when you met.

When you spend enough time in a long-distance relationship, there’s always a chance that you will drift apart. Your feelings may change, or you may develop feelings for someone else.

In this case, you can talk about your options and reassess your relationship to see whether it’s worth continuing or is it better to stop it, at least for now.

Don’t make unilateral decisions as long as you are in a relationship.

A lot of people decide on their own that they don’t want to be together. Only after they decide, they inform their partner about their decision. Doing this guarantees the suffering for at least one of you. If you are together, make all decisions together, out of basic respect for yourself and each other.

Signs your long-distance relationship is over

Here are some signs that your long-distance relationship is over:

  • You tried to have a romantic relationship with someone who lives far away, but it didn’t work.
  • You’ve been arguing with your partner more and more.
  • You don’t visit each other frequently, and your sexual frustration is getting more intense.
  • You don’t talk as much as you used to.
  • You make plans to talk to visit each other, but they get cancelled.
  • You no longer talk about your feelings, your relationship, or making plans for the future.
  • Your feelings have changed, and you drifted apart.
  • You developed feelings for someone else.

How to know when to let go of a long-distance relationship? 

You can pick up on different signs that can tell you that your relationship might be over.

Suppose you are in doubt whether or not your long-distance relationship is over. In that case, I invite you to change your focus from trying to figure it out to talk about how you feel about your relationship and what problems you face.

Suppose you can identify the problems in your long-distance relationship and talk about them with your partner. In that case, there’s always a chance you might be able to figure things out. You may also decide that your long-distance relationship is over after you’ve considered all aspects of being together.

It’s worth learning about why your long-distance relationship is over rather than focusing on the fact that it is over.

Suppose you know the reasons why your long-distance relationship didn’t work out. In that case, you can make changes and create a healthy relationship next time.

When is a long-distance relationship over? 

A long-distance relationship is over when you spoke to your partner, and you’ve come to a mutual decision to end your relationship.

On many occasions, there is one partner who decides to break up and then finds a way to inform the other partner about their decision. Breaking up your long-distance relationship this way guarantees that one of you will get hurt.

Instead of making a unilateral decision, it’s better to inform your long-distance partner about the things that you don’t think are working for you.

If you are struggling with the long-distance, for example, your partner might suggest for you to move in together or at least visit each other more frequently.

Unless you tell your partner how you feel and what are your struggles, they won’t be able to help you. Once you tell them how you feel, they may not know how to help you, but at least you would’ve done yourself a favour of being honest and open with the person you’re in a relationship.

How to let go of a long-distance relationship? 

If you’re struggling to let go of a long-distance relationship, here is what you can do:

  1. Take a week away from your relationship.
  2. Focus on your feelings about your long-distance partner and your long-distance relationship.
  3. Reflect on your relationship from the very beginning until now.
  4. Make notes of how your feelings changed throughout your long-distance relationship.
  5. Write down things that worked and things you didn’t.
  6. Ask yourself, how are you dealt with problems when they came about.
  7. Make a note of what was your communication like and how did you manage your physical intimacy.
  8. After you took a week to reflect on your long-distance relationship and made notes, talk to you long-distance but her about it.
  9. You’re out your long-distance partner’s point of you.
  10. Talk about things you discovered and see if there are ways you can work on improving them.
  11. Suppose you still have strong romantic feelings for each other. In that case, you can try to fix your problems and restore your long-distance relationship.
  12. If you discover that your feelings have changed and it’s time to move on, then agree that it’s the best thing to do for both of you.

If the two of you decide that your long-distance relationship is over and it’s time to move on, you can still be friends.


When you’re in a long-distance relationship, problems accumulate slowly over time. Rarely there is one moment that destroys the relationship when it’s healthy.

If you are attentive to what’s going on in your long-distance relationship with you and your partner, you can pick up on when things start to go wrong. The earlier you can identify the problems, the better your chances to fix them.

Suppose you are struggling in the long-distance relationship. In that case, the best thing you can do is to identify the problems and talk about them with your long-distance partner.

After your discussion, you can try to find a way to fix this problem is if you still have feelings for each other. However, when your feelings change and fade away, your long-distance relationship is really over, and it’s time to move on.

Try to avoid making unilateral decisions, talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and together you can decide the best way forward for both of you.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my long-distance relationship is over?

Your long-distance relationship is over once you spoke about your thoughts and feelings with your long-distance partner. After you discuss your problems together, you can decide to find a way to fix them or to let go of your relationship. Whatever you decide is okay, as long as it’s a mutual decision.

What are the signs my long-distance partner is over me?

There are obvious signs that your long-distance partners over you. They don’t share their feelings with you, and they don’t ask about how you feel. Your partner is over you when they have lost interest in what you do, what do you want, and how you feel. You can also pick up on other signs like A lack of effort to keep in touch and make plans.

When to call off a long-distance relationship?

Calling off a long-distance relationship is a one-person decision. It’s the wrong way to go about working out your differences or ending the relationship. You started your relationship together, so it should be a mutual decision to end your relationship as well.

When to call it quits in a long-distance relationship?

Your relationship should bring love and joy into your life. So, you know it’s time to end your long-distance relationship when you are feeling sad or frustrated more often than not.

When should you give up on a long-distance relationship?

The idea of giving up has a connotation of failure, and nobody likes to fail. So we do our best to make the relationship work even if we are not feeling any more. If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.

Alex Larryngton

Hi, I’m Alex:) As a Relationship Coach, I am someone you come to when you feel stuck in a relationship and want to find a way out.

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